Elementary (TV Series)

An Unnatural Arrangement (2013)

Jonny Lee Miller: Sherlock Holmes

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Quotes 

• Dr. Joan Watson : You solved the case that Baskin gave me.

  Sherlock Holmes : What's a Baskin?

  Dr. Joan Watson : Detective Baskin. He asked me to look into a string of robberies. I brought the files home with me yesterday.

  Sherlock Holmes : Oh yes, that Baskin. I refer to most of the detectives here as Not Bell.

• Sherlock Holmes : You should know, Captain, I usually cheer the end of any marriage. As an institution, I think it's outlasted its usefulness by quite a large margin.

  Captain Thomas Gregson : Huh.

  Sherlock Holmes : And yet I've come to appreciate the premise of partnership. It's far more intricate than I had previously imagined. The very smallest gesture can speak volumes.

  Captain Thomas Gregson : You're telling me not to give up?

  Sherlock Holmes : I'm telling you, you should never have entered into the charade that is wedded matrimony. You had a partner. Perhaps you still do.

• Sherlock Holmes : [over the phone]  Captain, your assistant said you'd gone to see your wife. Are you still there?

  Captain Thomas Gregson : I'm just leaving. Why?

  Sherlock Holmes : Your neighbor, James Monroe. You need to take your wife's protective detail, go to his house.

  Captain Thomas Gregson : What? Why?

  Sherlock Holmes : We now know the connection between you and the second victim, Sam Clennon. Or, rather, we know that there is no connection. The killer wasn't after you.

  Captain Thomas Gregson : That's not what he told Cheryl.

  Sherlock Holmes : No, he told her he was after her husband, never mentioned you by name.

  Captain Thomas Gregson : O'Malley, Grell, I need you with me.

  Sherlock Holmes : Sam Clennon served under James Monroe in Afghanistan. They knew each other. More importantly, if you enter Monroe's address into Maps Earth, a picture of your house comes up. It's quite common, apparently. Although instead of receiving something as mundane as a pizza ordered by your neighbor...

  Captain Thomas Gregson : I got the guy that was coming to kill him.

• Sherlock Holmes : Quite frankly, I'm surprised it's taken this long for the Captain's marriage to buckle. He's an excellent detective.

  Dr. Joan Watson : What does that have to do with it?

  Sherlock Holmes : Well, as you know, detection is a calling, not a job. Hardly leaves one with time left over to sustain the elaborate ruse of marriage.

  Dr. Joan Watson : Because, of course, you think marriage is an elaborate ruse.

  Sherlock Holmes : There are other ways to describe it. An unnatural arrangement which forces its participants into an unhealthy monogamy. An accretion of petty fights and resentful compromises which, like Chinese water torture, slowly transforms both parties into howling, neurotic versions of their former selves.