Mortdecai (2015)

Paul Bettany: Jock

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mortdecai : Have you heard the expression, "open your balls"?

  Jock : No, sir.

  Mortdecai : It made me feel dirty.

• Mortdecai : Kissing a man without a mustache is like eating an egg without salt.

  Johanna : Uhh, don't point that thing at me.

  Jock : Told ya!

• Mortdecai : What should I do now?

  Jock : Run, sir.

  Mortdecai : Again?

  Jock : Yes!

• Mortdecai : [arrives at hotel]  Jock. Dear, sweet, sperm-heavy Jock. Behold this America, this new colossus, this fair land of the free!

  [sees bikini-clad girls in the lobby] 

  Mortdecai : What kind of hell-place is this? I feel as though we've made a wrong turn and arrived on the set of a pornographic film.

  [asks hotel clerk] 

  Mortdecai : Have we taken a wrong turn and arrived on the set of a pornographic film?

  Hotel Clerk : Checking in?

  Mortdecai : I am Mortdecai, Lord of Silverdale. I should like to request a bucket of ice, "Do Not Disturb" sign, and a bulldozer.

  Hotel Clerk : Checking in?

  Jock : Yeah, we're checking in.

  Mortdecai : I suspect I may need to redecorate.

  Hotel Clerk : Room 326, overlooks the pool.

  [hands over a room card] 

  Mortdecai : So all I must do is show up, and I'm presented with a credit card. No wonder your country's in financial ruin.

  Hotel Clerk : Do you need help with your bags?

  Mortdecai : No, I do not need help with my bags. I have a fucking manservant. Strange country.