Twisted: The Untold Story of a Royal Vizier (2013)

Jeff Blim: Aladdin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Aladdin : Sultan, princess? This guy is a sorcerer. Think about it! How is it that he knows so much shit? Hey Ja'far, where do hippopotamuses come from?

  Ja'far : Africa.

  Aladdin : See, how did you fucking know that, sorcerer?

• Woman : [Crying]  Aladdin? After that night we spent together, my belly grows big with child. And my father says that you must marry me or I'll bring dishonor to my entire family.

  Aladdin : Whoa w - w - w - whoa! I can't give up on my dreams and settle down just because your dad's being a dick.

• Princess : Do you believe in love at first sight?

  Aladdin : Absolutely. I've experienced it. Many, many times.

• Aladdin : But she's the princess. To even stand a chance, I'd have to have enough money to like, hire an army of assassins to kill the royal vizier and all the palace guards. Then I could sneak in and, you know, pork her. 'Cause dude, once I get my mind set on a chick, I just can't move on. Until I get this nut out.

  Ja'far : Well first you must escape the Tiger Head Cave with your life.

  Ja'far : [yelling]  Then you can get your nut out!

  Ja'far : [ominously]  Your eternal nut out.

  Aladdin : Nice.

• Aladdin : Knock, knock, knock. Did somebody order a prince?

  Princess : [gasps, checks hand where she wrote his name]  Aladdin!

  Aladdin : How the fuck did you know it was me?

  Princess : [confused]  Because it *is* you, you're just wearing different clothes.

  Aladdin : Wow. Pretty *and* smart. You're the whole shebang, babe.

• Aladdin , Princess : They're after me! They're after you?

  Aladdin : There she is, guys, get her!