- Deputy Eli Brocias: When I think about it, Sheriff, I think maybe - maybe you should be the posse, and I should go guard the widow Webb.
- Sheriff John Henry Hoyle: Are you just wanting to have sex with the widow Webb?
- Deputy Eli Brocias: Yeah, she's - she's a real, uh, uh, - a WILF.
- Sheriff John Henry Hoyle: A WILF?
- Deputy Eli Brocias: A widow I'd like to fornicate with. I messed that one up.
- Sheriff John Henry Hoyle: So the W at the end is silent?
- Deputy Eli Brocias: Yeah, I threw another...
- Sheriff John Henry Hoyle: No, no, it'll work!
- Sheriff John Henry Hoyle: I would very much like to get to know not just the vagina, but the heart and the brain of you.
- Honey: I have been with a lot of men, Hoyle. You are the most like a woman, I have ever been with.
- Sheriff John Henry Hoyle: I'll take that as a compliment.
- [first lines]
- [the Sheriff, his Deputy, and Mrs. Webb are gathered around the bloody dead body of her husband, which lies at the foot of a tree]
- Sheriff John Henry Hoyle: [putting an arm around Mrs. Webb] I am so sorry for your loss, Mrs. Webb. To know that just a day ago, this - bag of blood and guts was walkin' around and feedin' chickens and - hugging you, and... This must be very difficult. And I want you to know, uh, heh, I attended Harvard University. I studied Criminology and Forensics. I graduated number 327 in my class. And I will use everything I learned to determine *how* he died, *where* he died, 'cause don't assume this is it, and most importantly, who did it and why they did it - and where they were when they did it.
- [Ephraim Younger has been captured and is tethered to the Deputy's horse, being led back to town]
- Ephraim Younger: Hey, Hoyle.
- Sheriff John Henry Hoyle: Yeah?
- Ephraim Younger: My brother's gonna kill you.
- Sheriff John Henry Hoyle: Oh, my God!
- Ephraim Younger: Do you like havin' insides? 'Cause those are gonna be outsides.