- Frankie Heck: Here you go. Jelly. Jelly's a fruit. Can't get much healthier than that.
- Brick Heck: We're out of bread.
- Frankie Heck: Even better. You eat it with a spoon, and the vitamins get to your brain faster.
- Attendance Office: This is the Orson High attendance office. May I speak to Frankie Heck, please?
- Sue Heck: [in fake accent] Yes, this is she.
- [whispers to self]
- Sue Heck: Why am I British?
- Attendance Office: Sorry to bother you. I'm just verifying that Sue Heck is home sick today.
- Sue Heck: Oh, yes. She's quite sick. Sick as the dickens, I'm afraid.
- Attendance Office: Well, please make sure she brings a note with a parent signature.
- Sue Heck: A note?
- Attendance Office: Yes. It's a requirement any time a student has been absent.
- Sue Heck: Very well. A note. I'll add it to my shed-ule. Cheerio!
- Brad Bottig: [on phone with Sue] Everyone in school got out of Math and English to go to the gym to watch four college a cappella groups have a sing-off. I totally think The Testostitones are gonna take it. Also, reporters are here, and Carly and I got interviewed for the six o'clock news. I gotta get back in there, Sue. They're handing out free ice cream!