Castle (TV Series)

The Fast and the Furriest (2013)

Arye Gross: M.E. Sidney Perlmutter

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Quotes 

• [Ryan and Esposito enter the morgue] 

  M.E. Sidney Perlmutter : Ugh. The "B" team.

  Javier Esposito : Talk about the "B" team.

  Kevin Ryan : Yeah.

  M.E. Sidney Perlmutter : I had hoped to see Castle's look of dismay when I told him cause of death was nothing more exotic than blunt-force trauma to the cranium... And, it-it seems that she was clobbered over the head with a club or a pipe.

  Javier Esposito : You could've said so over the phone.

  M.E. Sidney Perlmutter : Ah, but I also made two highly intriguing discoveries.

  Kevin Ryan : About the wounds on her face?

  M.E. Sidney Perlmutter : Er, well, their cause is still undetermined, but of far greater interest is the fact...

  Kevin Ryan : Because it could be claw marks...

  [to Esposito] 

  Kevin Ryan : Bigfoot has claws.

  Javier Esposito : So does Wolverine. Is he real?

  M.E. Sidney Perlmutter : Are you done?

• M.E. Sidney Perlmutter : Uh, let me caution you. This is not for the faint of heart.

  [uncovers victim] 

  Richard Castle : For once, I agree with you.

  Kate Beckett : [sighs]  What did this to her?

  M.E. Sidney Perlmutter : Could be anything from a crowbar to a box cutter. But they look like claw marks. I just can't tell what kind.

  Richard Castle : If it was an animal, wouldn't there be bite marks?

  M.E. Sidney Perlmutter : I might not find them until I do a complete exam and determine the exact cause of death.

  Kate Beckett : Given the fact that we don't have a crime scene, is there any indication of where she was attacked?

  M.E. Sidney Perlmutter : No, but, uh, I can tell you when. Based on the inflammation, I'd say the victim sustained her injuries five to six hours before she died.

  Kate Beckett : While we figure out who she is, we'll find out how she wound up this way.

• Richard Castle : Seriously, Beckett, do you have any idea what this means? We're about to be the first people in the nation, no, the *world*, to solve a Bigfoot murder.

  Kate Beckett : Very funny, Castle, but there is no such thing as Bigfoot.

  Richard Castle : Tell that to the people who've been sighting him for 400 years.

  M.E. Sidney Perlmutter : [approaching]  So, I typed the blood. It's a match to our victim.

  Richard Castle : Never mind the blood. What is your opinion on these?

  [gestures to giant footprints] 

  M.E. Sidney Perlmutter : Professionally, I can't speculate what those are, Mr. Castle. But personally, I can say that anyone who believes in Bigfoot is an ass.

  Richard Castle : Well, that is a common assertion amongst the uninformed.