The Simpsons (TV Series)

What Animated Women Want (2013)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Grampa

Photos 

Quotes 

• Homer Simpson : You know how in the Special Olympics they give out medals just for showing up?

  Marge Simpson : How many times have I told you to stop comparing our relationship to the Special Olympics?

• Homer Simpson : [Caught inside a bondage device]  Quick, call the Proctor & Gamble help line!

  Marge Simpson : Boy, they make everything nowadays.

• Marge Simpson : I'm tired of your broken promises. "I'll fix it tomorrow." "I'll be home at 8:00 PM." "I'll be home at 8:00 AM." "I'll take you on the most romantic dinner of your life." Well, I'm through with your excuses!

  Homer Simpson : Marge was so happy when I made those promises. What changed?

• Homer Simpson : The marriage I have taken for granted all these years has suddenly exploded in my face. What do I do?

  Herstory Narrator : Typically, men have two choices.

  [Thought balloon over Homer shows a pair of boxing gloves labeled "Fight" and a pair of winged sneakers labeled "Flee"] 

  Homer Simpson : I like the looks of those winged shoes. I choose flee!

  [Starts running, but after a couple of blocks gets exhausted and stops] 

  Homer Simpson : Where's an automatic sidewalk when you need one? Fleeing didn't work. I have no choice. I must do... whatever the other thing was!

• Homer Simpson : [Finds Helen Lovejoy at a sex shop]  The minister's wife? What are you doing here?

  Helen Lovejoy : Uh, protesting.

  Reverend Lovejoy : [Comes out of a dressing room wearing bondage wear]  Is this domineering enough for you?

  Helen Lovejoy : Go back to the cowboy thing and wait in the car.

  Reverend Lovejoy : Help me out here, Homer.

  [Homer laughs uneasily and walks away] 

• Homer Simpson : Do you know a way to please a woman that starts with F?

  Moe : As a matter of fact, I've been reading up on this Fifty Shades of Gray, and apparently what women today want is to give her what for in the bedroom.

  Homer Simpson : Woo hoo! I'll woo her with woo-hoo!

  Moe : I dunno, if this is what women are into, I should be a lot more popular.

• Homer Simpson : Oh, Marge! Come into the garage! You know it's gonna be good, because I'm talking in a sing-song fashion!