- Howard becomes upset when Sheldon finds a letter from his estranged father whilst cleaning out his and Bernadette's closet.
- Howard's idea of cleaning up in preparation for a dinner party at their place is to throw everything into the closet, which irks Bernadette. Howard suggests that if Bernadette truly wants their closet to be organized, that they show it to Sheldon, who will more than gladly volunteer to organize it, which he does. But Sheldon finds something in the closet that Howard has kept unopened for years: a letter from his father, who abandoned him and his mother when Howard was a child. The letter arrived on his eighteenth birthday. At the time, Howard had no interest in reading the letter's contents, but now doesn't know what to feel about it. Regardless of what Howard decides to do about the letter, he and others may find out its contents if only because Sheldon read the letter in deciding how to file it. A scientific experiment may reveal or not reveal the letter's contents to Howard. Meanwhile, Leonard, seeing how grown up and mature Howard and Bernadette have become by hosting a formal dinner party, wants him and Penny to do the same, but only better.—Huggo
- Bernadette prepares a dinner for the gang and makes Sheldon's Thai food from scratch for him however Sheldon brings his own Thai take-out food. She is not happy and tells Howard to show him their messy closet which Sheldon will automatically clean out and previously she wouldn't have asked him. Inside Sheldon finds an unopened letter sent by Howard's missing father dated on his eighteen birthday. Howard doesn't want to know what is in it and burns it, however everybody gets Sheldon to tell them since he had read it. At a formal dinner party given by Leonard and Penny, Howard is upset that everyone else knows and he leaves. The gang meets him at his apartment and each of them tell him a possible explanation and a positive story of the contents of the letter so that he knows and doesn't know what is in it which eases Howard's broken heart.—laird-3
- Bernadette joins Howard in their bedroom. Howard says that she had told him to clean up, so he was cleaning up as he throws more things onto the giant junk pile in their bedroom closet. Bernadette states that after tonight they have to go through the closet and straighten it up. Howard suggests that they show the closet to Sheldon due to his obsession with organizing things. Even his label maker has a label on it, as does that label.
Raj is already drinking their wine, when Sheldon, Amy, Penny and Leonard arrive. Penny smells something good cooking. Since Sheldon eats Thai food that night, Bernadette went to the Thai market and made his usual meal from scratch. Sheldon says that she shouldn't have because they stopped and he brought his own take-out. Bernadette then snaps to her husband to show Sheldon the closet.
Sheldon comes in and asks if Howard wants his clothes arranged by color or seasonally. Howard tells him that by color is fine. Sheldon contradicts him and tells him that they will be arranged seasonally. Amy doesn't mind since he spent an hour in the supermarket optimizing the cheese aisle. Afterwards the assistant store manager chased him out of the store waving a salami. Amy says that his quirks just make you love him more. Before leaving Sheldon shows Howard a letter from his father, and asks how that should be classified. Sheldon reveals that he read the letter himself. This makes Howard furious since his father abandoned his family when Howard was very young. He never opened the letter himself. He asks Sheldon to leave.
Howard can't sleep thinking about the letter and is sitting in their kitchen. Howard agrees that he is curious about the contents of his father's letter since he hasn't seen him since he was little. Bernadette suggests that he read it since he might apologize or explain why he left. Howard insists he doesn't deserve a chance to explain. Howard burns the letter.
At Penny's apartment the girls are having wine. Amy is curious about what was in the letter. She points out that they could ask Sheldon since he read it. Bernadette doesn't want to ask since she doesn't want to invade her husband's privacy. Penny says that she could ask Sheldon while Bernadette was in the room. She quickly says, "That works."
Down in the Laundry room Sheldon is using rubber gloves to clean out the dryer lint container. The girls enter and Sheldon greets them asking what he can do for them. Penny then asks what Howard's letter said. Sheldon doesn't feel like he can tell them since he is bound by closet organizer-organizer confidentiality. Sheldon says that just because he knows what it says, he cannot go around disseminating the information freely because control of the information belongs to Howard. Penny says that the letter was found in Bernadette's closet and doesn't that count for something. Sheldon then asks, "Are you pointing out that California is a community property state and since Howard and Bernadette are married the intellectual property contained in that letter is jointly owned by the two spouses?" Penny looks confused and then agrees. Sheldon says that she played her hand well and that he doesn't give Penny enough credit.
Leonard is planning a party and Raj has designated himself as the party planner. Raj wants to make sure that Leonard's dinner party kicks Howard's dinner party's ass. Leonard wants to keep it simple, cocktails, appetizers, and light jazz music. Raj thinks that he's got his theme from some Mad Men rerun. Sheldon walks in & describes how the girls made him reveal confidential information about Howard's father. Leonard asked what information. Sheldon again claims closet organizer-organizer confidentiality. He then tells them that they should have pointed out that it's pointless to keep it a secret because Penny will tell them anyway.
With everybody dressed up in the kitchen, everybody says how much fun it is, how great the food and the company is. Howard and Bernadette are climbing the stairs & Bernadette quickly tells him that she knows what is in his father's letter which sends Howard into the apartment telling Sheldon that he is going to kill him. Sheldon then grabs Amy and puts her between them. Howard then asks if everyone knows, but him and asks Bernadette how she could do this thing to him. Bernadette apologizes, though Howard still says that he doesn't want to know. He then admits that he would like to, but that he has to go and he leaves.
Bernadette finds Howard in their newly arranged closet looking at pictures of his Dad and him. Bernadette asks if he can take a break because she has a little surprise for him. Howard tells Bernadette that he is in no mood to have sex that night. He finds everybody in their living room. Leonard explains that when he left they didn't know whether he wanted to know or not, so they have a cool solution. Sheldon explains it using various quantum states of matter. Sheldon continues that if each person present him with an account of the letter with only one being true, he will forever be in a state of Epistemic ambivalence. Raj describes a birthday card that said "Happy eighteenth birthday. I love you. Dad." Sheldon says that the envelope contained a map to the lost treasure of the pirate One-Eyed Willy. Howard points out that that is the plot from The Goonies. Amy says that his father was secretly in the auditorium at his high school graduation and he cried because he was so proud of him. Howard asked "Really?" Sheldon says that her story is poppycock and that it could still be the map. Amy looks quite disappointed. Penny tells him that the letter explained that his Dad wasn't who he said he was and that his previous life caught up with him and the only way he could keep his mom and him safe was to leave. Sheldon then changes his story that the pirate's name was Peg-Leg Antoine.
Leonard describes how he thought that family was the most important thing and that Howard should not throw it away like he did. Bernadette finishes with describing a picture of his father holding Howard on the day he was born and on the back was written: Howard my son, my greatest gift. Howard is very touched. Sheldon wants to know which one he thinks it is, "matey". Howard again says that he doesn't want to know, but he does want them all to be true. Sheldon then admits to have read some saucy passages from Bernadette's diary. Sheldon assures her that her secrets are safe with him though copyright laws allow him to quote snippets in the context of a review.
All are having a good time back at the apartment, Howard and Bernadette are dancing. Howard is feeling better, but if he had known they were going to dance, he would have worn his flats. Penny says that it turned out pretty well and Leonard agrees. Sheldon enters with questions from cleaning out Penny's closet. He finds a dead goldfish that Penny had forgotten about. He also asks if she had a dog because he found a battery operated "chew toy" [her vibrator]. Embarrassed, Penny jumps up, says that the party is over, and pushes Sheldon out of the apartment.
Title reference: Sheldon organizes Howard and Bernadette's closet.
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