- Debbie Weaver: Wow, Marty, you really gotta start paying more attention around here.
- Marty Weaver: Deb, there's way too much to keep track of. Okay, there's you, Amber, Max, Abby, aliens next door. Everybody's got all these little things...
- Debbie Weaver: There are plenty of successful women in business. Oprah.
- Jackie Joyner-Kersee: Her network is a failure.
- Debbie Weaver: Martha Stewart.
- Jackie Joyner-Kersee: Jailbird!
- Marty Weaver: [On Telephone] I'm all the way downtown at the puzzle store buying glue.
- Debbie Weaver: Okay, Marty, that is so sad that I hope that is a lie and you are at a strip club.
- Jackie Joyner-Kersee: Dick's been watching reruns of your old late-night talk shows. He's decided he wants to be a sidekick someday.
- Dick Butkus: Hey-oh!
- Jackie Joyner-Kersee: Help me, Debbie Weaver. I'm one "ba-zing" away from blowing my brains out.