- Baxter Stockman: Welcome contestants! I'm so glad you could join us tonight...
- Leonardo: Blister Stockboy?
- Baxter Stockman: It's Baxter Stockman! I'm your arch nemesis!
- Michelangelo: I could totally think of five nemeses way archer than him.
- Baxter Stockman: You'll be playing for the ultimate prize: your lives! In the all new family-friendly, incredibly deadly maze of doom!
- Baxter Stockman: And even you make it through my maze alive, you'll still have to face my monster of...
- Leonardo: Doom? Is it a monster of doom?
- Baxter Stockman: No! Uh... monster of... uhhh... uh... Oh the heck with it!
- Fishface: The truce... is over...
- Dogpound: Let's finish... this...
- [the Turtles get out their weapons]
- Michelangelo: Booyaka...
- [yawns and dozes]
- Dogpound: [exhausted] Aw, forget it... Next time...
- Splinter: [holds up a tessen] I had one day intended to pass this onto my daughter. But I would like you to have it.
- April O'Neil: It's beautiful.
- April O'Neil: Sensei, not that I don't enjoy running Ukes 6,000 times, but when do I get a weapon?
- Splinter: Ah, but April, you already possess the kunoichi's most powerful weapon: the mind.
- April O'Neil: When was the last time you saw a guy hit someone over the head with their mind?
- Splinter: True. Let's find you a weapon.
- Fishface: You fool. What are you doing?
- Baxter Stockman: I'm sick of you freaks, you treat me like dirt, threaten me! But Baxter Stockman doesn't make friends!
- Fishface: Have you gone mad?
- Baxter Stockman: [laughs] Mad? I'm full-on-mega crazy!