Community (TV Series)
Conventions of Space and Time (2013)
Gillian Jacobs: Britta Perry
Photos
Quotes
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Britta Perry : Jeff, why are people staring at you?
Jeff Winger : 'Cause they've never seen a man who's had sex before?
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Britta Perry : Hi, Abed! Just here for my breakfast date with Troy.
Troy Barnes : Oh, good morning, Britta. I haven't seen you in over 12 hours!
Britta Perry : [Chuckles] Yeah.
Abed Nadir : I know you two are having sex. I've known for weeks.
Britta Perry : What? Why didn't you say something?
Abed Nadir : I love doughnuts.
[Takes the doughnut bag from Britta]
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Troy Barnes : [Slightly sadly] You know, this is good, because, you know, Abed's branching out, and Toby's really, really great.
Britta Perry : No. Troy, I have seen that look. Girls have given me that look. You are not being crazy. That dude is trying to steal your boyfriend.
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Britta Perry : Can't we just tell Abed that we're sleeping together?
Troy Barnes : No. No. Abed's fragile. We have to ease him into it, okay? Do we want him to freak out and then we have to rescue him from some fantasy world where submarines are small enough to enter the bloodstream?
[Thinks about it]
Troy Barnes : I totally want to do that.
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Troy Barnes : Abed, the gluon photo line looks really long. We should probably get in it now.
Abed Nadir : Definitely. Right after I find Toby.
Troy Barnes : Who's Toby?
Abed Nadir : [Chuckles] Toby Weeks. Arguably the biggest Inspector Spacetime fan in the world. We've been emailing for months.
Troy Barnes : Oh. You never mentioned him.
Abed Nadir : Well, you've been so busy lately having s*x. Besides, we talked about embracing change, so I'm expanding my social circle. I just hope he makes it. He works in Nigeria in banking. He almost couldn't come because all his money was tied up in this financial thing, but I sent him 700 pounds and a plane ticket, so he should be here.
Britta Perry : Oh, Abed.
Abed Nadir : There he is.
Toby : You must be Abed. Inspector.
[They both tip their hats to each other]
Toby : Ooh, before I forget, here is your check.
Abed Nadir : Nice.
Toby : Thanking you very much indeed. You wouldn't believe how many people I emailed asking for help, and they completely ignored me.
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Britta Perry : [about Abed and Toby, who finish each other's sentences] Do they even have to talk? They could just touch tentacles and download.
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Britta Perry : Like I always say, if you love someone, set them free, and, if they don't come back to you, they were never yours to begin with.
Troy Barnes : That makes no sense. What if they get hit by a car or fall down a well? Remind me not to put you down as my emergency contact.
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Britta Perry : Wait, was that the female inspector?
Abed Nadir : [Abed reprimands Britta] Not in front of Toby.
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Britta Perry : [in bed watching a b&w episode of 'Inspector Spacetime' on a laptop] Oh, wow, there are 50 years of these, huh?
Troy Barnes : Yeah, isn't it great?
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Britta Perry : Everything okay?
Troy Barnes : Everything's fine.
Britta Perry : What is a gluon anyway?
Troy Barnes : Can we stop talking about Abed? I'm sorry. I can't. It doesn't feel right.
Britta Perry : It's okay. I understand. Go to him.
Troy Barnes : Are you sure?
Britta Perry : I've told you before. I don't care about Inspector Spacetime.
[Troy exits as Britta reveals a look of relief]
