- Cheryl Tunt: Please, if you really cared, you'd resign, but there's no way you ever will, because you're just counting the days until, her face bloated and yellow from liver failure, she calls you to her death bed and, in a croaky whisper, explains that Mr. Archer is totally incompetent and that you, the long-suffering Lana Kane, are the only one qualified to run ISIS and you weep shameful tears because you know this terrible place is the only true love you will ever know.
- Lana Kane: [Upset] Excuse me.
- Pam Poovey: Daaaaaamn!
- Cheryl Tunt: What?... Oh my god, was I talking?
- Sterling Archer: Please! Just pretend I'm... whose your go-to movie star, you know, for...?
- Ray Gillette: Lorne Greene.
- Sterling Archer: Wow.
- Ray Gillette: Yeah.
- Sterling Archer: Bonanza or Battlestar?
- Ray Gillette: Duh! So I come to the Ponderosa looking for ranch work, but my chaps get torn, and Hop Sing's just, you know...
- Sterling Archer: Uh, Ray, time's kinda a factor here, so...
- Ray Gillette: I am *not* ever sucking your taint.
- Sterling Archer: Okay, so, Cyril, better ChapStick it up, buddy.
- Cyril Figgis: Well, first of all, does sucking out the venom not help the snakebite victim, it can also envenom the...
- Sterling Archer: Taint-sucker, that's you, let's go.
- Ray Gillette: Okay, yes, and second of all, the venom's not there anymore. It's pumping through you veins to your heart and brain.
- Sterling Archer: My... , well, put a tourniquet on me.
- Cyril Figgis: You can't tourniquet the taint.
- Sterling Archer: Wait, is my dick going to be OK?