- Stewie Griffin: [Speaking to a drunk Peter] You should know that mom has emotionally let you go. It won't be long before she takes a lover. She already has 2 cell phones.
- Chris Griffin: [Speaking to Charmese] I have 3 dollars and 74 cents, do something to me.
- [Charmese spits in Chris's face]
- Chris Griffin: I love you. I want to take you away from all of this.
- Zuzu: Teacher says, when a bell rings a straight guy has to pretend to be gay to get out of a marriage.
- George Bailey: Yeah, we're taking you out of that school...
- Meg Griffin: So Charmese, I was thinking of writing an article about you for my school paper. Do you charge black guys more or less?
- Charmisse: Hmm, that's a hard question to answer. Most of them get a group rate.
- Helen Keller: [Harvard cutaway] Tonight, I want to go out and just get wasted! And not one of these campus bars. I wanna get wrecked by a townie!
- Student: Helen, you're outrageous! I can't believe you're getting away with this!
- Helen Keller: I've been getting away with this since I was seven. Believe me, I know what I'm doing.
- [Teacher approaches, Helen flicks her cigarette away]
- Teacher: Morning ,Girls. Helen.
- [touches Helen on head]
- Helen Keller: [keeps up the pretence] Mmmnh-nnh-nnh-oooh!
- [Teacher walks away, Helen puts up both middle fingers]