The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Bakersfield Expedition (2013)

Kevin Sussman: Stuart Bloom

Quotes 

• Bernadette Rostenkowski : What kind of comics do the guys like?

  Stuart : Um... a little bit of everything. Mostly superhero stuff.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Okay, well who's the best superhero?

  Stuart : Shhhh! You can't ask a question like that in here! You trying to start a rumble?

• [Penny, Amy & Bernadette have just entered the Comic Store] 

  Bernadette Rostenkowski : Why are they staring?

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Who cares? Just soak it in.

  [huskily, stroking her hair] 

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Hello, boys.

  Stuart : Oh. Hey!

  [looks around at the customers] 

  Stuart : Could we stop staring? They're just girls; nothing you haven't seen in movies or in drawings.

• Stuart : Let's see. Well, you got your basic clean good guys, Superman, Spiderman, Captain America. Then you have your darker anti-heroes, your Batman, your Wolverine, Punisher.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Oh, I do love a bad boy.

  Penny : As evidence by your boyfriend and his fear of hamsters.

• Bernadette Rostenkowski : [Amy, Bernadette, and Penny enter the comic store the guys often go to, and every male stops what they're doing and stares at them in shock] 

  [Obviously uncomfortable] 

  Bernadette Rostenkowski : Why are they staring?

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Who cares? Just soak it in.

  [Then starts walking around, moving her hair from over her ear, then says the next line as if she were a 1940s girl talking to sailors] 

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Hello boys.

  Stuart Bloom : [Comes out of the back room and sees the girls]  Oh, hey.

  [Then notices all the guys looking at them] 

  Stuart Bloom : Would you please stop staring? They're just girls. It's nothing you haven't seen in movies or in drawings.

  Penny : Hey Stuart.

  Stuart Bloom : Well, what brings you girls here?

  Bernadette Rostenkowski : We were looking for a recommendation about comic books.

  Stuart Bloom : Oh, well, I recommend you don't open a store and sell them.

  Penny : No, we were wondering why the guys like the stuff so much, so we thought we'd give it a try.

  Stuart Bloom : [as he speaks the next line, some of the customers start looking at the girls again]  Oh ok, well what do you think you might be in to? Superheroes? Fantasy? Graphic novels? Manga?

  [Turns on the others without taking a breath] 

  Stuart Bloom : I swear I will turn a hose on you!

  [They scatter] 

  Bernadette Rostenkowski : What kind of comics do the guys like?

  Stuart Bloom : Um, a little bit of everything. Mostly superhero stuff.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Alright, well who's the best superhero?

  Stuart Bloom : [Frantically]  Shhhh! You can't ask a question like that in here? Are you trying to start a rumble?

  Penny : Well, what do you recommend?

  Stuart Bloom : Oh, well um, you got your basic clean-cut good guys, like Superman, Spider-Man, Captain America, then you got your darker "anti-heroes", like Batman, Wolverine, Punisher.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Oooo, I do love a bad boy.

  Penny : [Matter-of-factly]  As evidenced by your boyfriend and his fear of hamsters.

  Stuart Bloom : [Presenting a comic]  If I were you, I'd go for Fables #1. The artwork is sophisticated, it's intelligently written, and it doesn't objectify or stereotype women.

  Penny : [Distracted by another comic]  Oooo, Thor! He's hot!

  Stuart Bloom : Yeah, he kind of is.