- Alex Vause: I don't even know anymore. I used to. I had grand plans. Now, I can't even get past the swirling darkness in my brain long enough to land on anything.
- [first lines]
- Miss Claudette Pelage: And now what? You wipe up, but that does not disinfect. How are you going to disinfect?
- Piper Chapman: I don't know, I've never cleaned up another person's pee before.
- Miss Claudette Pelage: The privileged life you've led.
- Piper Chapman: In the morning when I wake up, there are these few seconds before I realize where I am, and then I do realize, and I can't breathe. And I want to cry, and throw shit, and kill myself. When does that end?
- Nicky Nichols: I'll let you know.
- Piper Chapman: I think I might have gotten Miss Claudette really mad at me.
- Nicky Nichols: You know how some people have imaginary friends? I think you might have imaginary enemies.
- Piper Chapman: I have been here for less than two weeks. I have been starved out, felt up, teased, stalked, threatened, and called Taylor Swift. And now: you.
- Miss Claudette Pelage: You can't take away that girl's shot at getting out.
- Tricia Miller: I don't know what you're talking about.
- Miss Claudette Pelage: Yes, you do!
- Miss Claudette Pelage: You will not steal Mercy's date over a schoolgirl crush!
- Miss Claudette Pelage: You can't play with someone's life like that.
- Tricia Miller: But I love her.
- Miss Claudette Pelage: Love... is not an excuse!
- Piper Chapman: What are you doing?
- Nicky Nichols: [stops drilling a hole in the wall] It's uh, an art piece representing the futility of blue-collar labor in a technological age. And vaginas.
- Piper Chapman: [defending herself to Miss Claudette] I have been here for less than two weeks. I've been starved out, felt up, teased, stalked, threatened and called Taylor Swift!