Family Guy (TV Series)

Joe's Revenge (2012)

Will Sasso: Bobby Briggs

Quotes 

• Joe Swanson : [holds Briggs at gunpoint]  You're not gonna get away this time, you son of a bitch!

  Bobby Briggs : [holds up his hands in surrender]  Please, don't kill me! I'm not married! My life is awesome!

  Joe Swanson : I've waited 15 years for this moment, Briggs. Do you have any idea what it's like to have to lift yourself into a wheelchair every morning? To have your wife look at you like you're half a man? To get preferential parking? To board a plane early with the first-class people and gold card members? All right, it's not all bad. But I'm not going to kill you. I'm not an animal like you.

  Bobby Briggs : [last words]  So, what are you going to do, arrest me?

  Joe Swanson : No. I don't arrest cripples.

  [shoots Briggs in both legs and Briggs falls backwards to the ground, groaning] 

  Joe Swanson : By the way, you're under arrest. I only said that last thing cause it seemed cool.

  [Peter and Quagmire ran up to Joe] 

  Peter Griffin : Oh, my God, that was so awesome. I saw everything. You were all like...

  [deep mumbling] 

  Peter Griffin : And Briggs was all like...

  [high-pitched mumbling] 

  Peter Griffin : And then you were all like...

  [mimics two gunshots] 

  Peter Griffin : And then Briggs's legs were like...

  [mimics video game sound effects from Pac-Man] 

  Joe Swanson : [sees Briggs dead]  Oh, crap, he's dead. I think he bled out. I must have hit the femoral artery.

  Glenn Quagmire : Ah, just kick him into Mexico.

  [kicks Briggs's body into the Rio Grande river]