500 MPH Storm (2013) User Reviews

Utter pile of crap

[viciousdeath · 1/10 · 8 March 2013]

I read one of the shill reviews on here comparing this movie to Citizen Kane and the Godfather...LOL First the effects are just crap. There are scenes where everything just looks a 5 year-old's Photoshop project. I am not exaggerating. I'm not 100% sure but I think they recycle locations over and over(warehouse). The CGI looks like it's from the 90's and the interface on the monitors for the beam look like a little too simplistic for such a powerful device.

The acting is atrocious to the point of being annoying. The lines the actors were given are just as ridiculous. I'm of the mind that this was someone's idea of a joke.

The plot is so full of holes it's not even funny. I've seen better movies that portray this kind of disaster much better, Twister anyone? Save your time and money and pass this one over, or you'll regret it.

Irredeemably awful

[TheLittleSongbird · 1/10 · 14 April 2013]

I do not mind low-budget movies at all, there are still movies that are so but are still entertaining regardless. 500 MPH Storm was low-budget and not at all entertaining. I'll forgive any movie for being low-budget, I will not forgive one that looks as though no effort or heart went into it, and it is in this category where 500 MPH Storm falls under. It is difficult where to begin with criticising but one of many things that struck me was how severely underacted the movie is. The smallest plank of wood is more animated than any of these actors, who from their phoned-in delivery of lines and wooden presences look as though they were held at gunpoint. Even for a low-budget movie, 500 MPH Storm was so cheaply made you do find wondering why did they even try. The editing is choppy and blurry and the special effects looked unfinished and would be more at home in a low-budget movie from twenty years ago. The dialogue is so awkwardly delivered and repeats itself to the point of you getting a bruise from hitting your forehead against a wall, and the story has no life whatsoever with the disaster sequences poorly edited and lacking in thrills or suspense. The scientific errors and unbelievably idiotic moments are so numerous to list and would be better documented in a 500+ page novel. The characters have no development to them and infuriate you in how stupidly and obnoxiously they believe throughout. The music is overbearing and has no flow, while the direction indicates someone who had little to no idea as to how to direct the action, actors or anything. To conclude, just awful and irredeemably, an amateur's job all around and in the worst possible sense. 0/10 Bethany Cox

The best disaster movie Microsoft Paint can make

[Sandcooler · 3/10 · 21 August 2013]

I know a company like Asylum Films has to work with very little money and very little time, but how hard is it to shoot your movie about a hypercane (whatever the hell that is) without having a sunny blue sky in the background? I don't think I'm asking much here: you don't have to shoot during an actual hypercane (because you know, there's no such thing), but some actual clouds might have helped matters here and there. Same with the rain that pours down during the entire running time, but never seems to get anyone wet. It's all just such sloppy filmmaking, and this one doesn't even have the usual Asylum benefit of involving some far-fetched prehistoric creature. A dinoshark would have made this movie better, wrap your mind around that idea. The only thing this movie really has going for it is Casper Van Dien, who does the best he can with the material ("material" here meaning sitting in a car while pretending there's a storm). Van Dien is a pretty good performer to B-movie standards, his acting is pretty much all in his amazing teeth but at least there's some emotion there. He's a way more compelling hero than this movie deserves to have, which prompts me to give this movie a higher rating than it deserves to have. Damn you Casper Van Dien, damn you.

So what happened to the remaining 499 mph force?

[paul_haakonsen · 2/10 · 29 March 2013]

With the title itself, you already know 'this is going to be one of those movies'. And yes, that is exactly right. Another disastrous disaster movie. But still, there is just something alluring to these cheesy and bad CGI disaster movies that keeps me coming back. Perhaps it is to see just how bad it is that does it.

Regardless, then "500 MPH Storm" is a disaster at 500 mph, indeed. The CGI effects in the movie are horrible - as to be expected. And you don't really buy into this being a 500 mph storm at any given time throughout the movie.

And for some odd reason, as almost every single time, in these type of movies, the destructive forces of the natural disaster follows hard on heel in the wake of our main characters. I guess mother nature has it in for the main characters, throwing just every single bit of poorly animated CGI effect their way.

The story in "500 MPH Storm" is right out of the "let's make a disaster movie" guidebook; people have created some device that wreaks a natural disaster of grand proportions and is unable to stop it. Just who creates a machine without a failsafe shutdown system anyway? Regardless, then it is up to a small handful of people to save the world. Do they? Well, you already know the answer to that.

Yeah, this is one of those excruciatingly predictable movies!

The acting in the movie was wooden and painfully rigid. And the dialogue offered the characters in the movie didn't really help anything along in a good way either.

If you enjoy campy and cheesy movies with horrible CGI effects, then you might find some fun in "500 MPH Storm", otherwise, don't waste your time on this movie.

Beyond Bad

[albrechtcm · 1/10 · 17 March 2013]

Following all the bad reviews, I probably don't need to add another, but wow! Okay, the movie was made on the cheap, but there have been good cheap movies. Just because this film was produced on an abandoned factory budget, there's no excuse for the following: bad acting, bad story-line, bad dialog, bad sequencing, bad production values and bad direction. There are so many deplorable incidents in this film that it's hard to select one or two, but for one thing, the storm comes (ferociously) and goes within a minute without explanation. At least twice during the storm, despite the action, we clearly see cars coming and going about their daily affairs in the background. The kid and mother are alone in an abandoned ranger station. No problem. Dad comes in and says, "We have to go. There's a fire." Kid, who hasn't been outside, says he knows where there is a helicopter. The instant they step outside, the entire forest is suddenly aflame all around them, but that's okay. They just run through the forest for about five miles, ford a wide river and then more forest and finally they arrive at a helicopter pad. Fortunately dad knows how to fly a helicopter, but of course has a frightening time getting it started as flames suddenly surround them. It's downhill from there. I presume people make these films because they're cheap and even a bad film can make a few bucks in DVD sales, but the producers should be ashamed. Mr. Van Dien is no longer a Starship Trooper but rather an aging dated hippie type whose mugging did little to improve this spectacle.

The bad reviews are all right

[shornick75 · 2/10 · 18 March 2013]

not going to do an in-depth review, i just want to point out that i went into this movie after seeing the bad reviews expecting a bad film and boy i got one, my main gripe was the acting from the 3 main characters, it was so wooden, lines were repeated over n over and the seriousness of the whole situation wasn't portrayed at all, i got to about 15 mins in and was tempted to knock it off, but i held on and began to wish, the storm would just kill everyone, so the credits would role sooner, the effects, plot and acting all let this movie down and i would recommend nobody watch it. i might add that i love low budget movies as they tend to be a bit more interesting that a lot of blockbusters, but there was sadly nothing about '500 MPH Storm' i could say was anything more that terrible.

Not worth watching

[wnourallah · 2/10 · 5 March 2013]

Hey no worries about writing a spoiler. 20 minutes of painful acting and storyline, I switched off as I could not be punished any longer. Why do they actually make films like these? They are a waste of money and the actors in these films will find it hard to get another job afterwards. As for the worst actor I have ever seen, Bryan Head should be re named Bryan foot. If he was my son I would have thrown him out of the car and let him die in the Storm. The winds are supposed to be 500 mph yet he is actually racing it in his 4X4. I did not know that a 4X4 can actually do such speeds. Woooowwwww. They must have made this film on a tight budget as I have not seen most of the other actors previously and about the only decent thing in the film is Casper Van Dien's wife. She is very pleasant to look at but again not much of an actress. Please do not bother watching it unless you like pain.

Film threatens to lobotomize all who watch it!

[ohferfuksakes · 1/10 · 6 March 2013]

Just kidding..I'm not kidding. "500MPH Storm" , where do I begin? I'm torn between investing time to write this and picking it apart...scene by scene. In brief it's REALLY, REALLY bad.

Lets start shall we? The story : Scientists(Micheal Beach,Chad Brummett) while creating a sustainable energy source, accidentally cause tornadoes and hurricanes that threaten to destroy the planet. A high school science teacher(Casper VanDien),his son(Bryan Head) and wife(not credited)run for their lives until a solution can be found to shut the storms down.

Everything ...the writing, acting, editing, effects are terrible. How does a film like this get funding? Actually, its SO bad its funny as all hell. I'm not saying don't watch it, it's worth a laugh.

There is not much to recommend this nonsensical disaster film.

[suite92 · 2/10 · 3 May 2014]

Simon's group starts a energy production project. The beam generated is a lot stronger than expected, and it starts hosing the weather in the TX/NM/AZ region. Nathan wrote much of the theory underlying the project, but has been absent from it for a while. When the problems start, Simon tries to contact Nathan. The Sims family is on the run from the storms, and eventually Nathan needs to get with Simon to correct things...such as getting the core of the project's reactor cooled off.

Most of the film is about getting Nathan to the project, keeping the Sims family safe, and fixing the project.

Nathan gets information to Simon to stop the beam. Then the bigger problems show up.

-----Scores-----

Cinematography: 5/10 The parts with no FX were nicely shot. The SFX were on the cheesy side. The model for the project's main site looked like 1960s SciFi props. Some of the matte paintings were not well done at all.

Sound: 3/10 The actors were miked OK. Some of the background music was OK, but a lot of it sounded like it was generated from an automatic system. That irritated me quite a bit.

Acting: 2/10 Sarah Lieving is always easy on the eye and the ear, but this is another film like Mega Shark and Super Shark; I wish she would move to better films. Casper van Dien has done better work, and he helps keep this project from being absolutely terrible. Similarly, this is about the worst property I've seen Michael Beach in. The other actors were rather bad, Bryan Head in particular.

Screenplay: 2/10 The dialog and the plot were both simplistic and nonsensical. The film tries to convey a sense of urgency. However, the repetitions, the mistakes, and the poor delivery by many of the actors negated much the urgency.

Holy crap!

[luke-beaven · 3/10 · 11 March 2013]

While its not the WORST movie i've seen, i would rather gouge out my eyes with a spoon than watch this again. in one scene, where they escape the bushfire in a helicopter, they are using a total of 5 or so different choppers. you can see this by the fact the helicopter changes its paint jobs. The SUV they are escaping the storm in does not have the wipers on when its raining, until we go in for a closeup on the acting. (if thats what you want to call it)

The entire time i was watching this movie i was waiting for the power rangers to jump on screen and save the day. thats how bad the CGI is. for 2013, with all the technology, computer power we have for todays movies, this movie is about on par with the original "thunderbirds" TV series from the 1960's. the quality would if been much better if the whole film was shot using a iPhone and free video editing apps.

if your broke and cant afford to go out, its raining and you cant go out, on a long trans- Atlantic flight, or maybe even a hostage in someones basement, this movie will do as long as there is nothing else to watch.

BtStudios

could be worse, it could have sharks flying out of it

[cmbcmb2013 · 19 October 2013]

I have not yet watched this film, but after experiencing some of the asylums other work I can only imagine the hell it is to watch.

you are probably like me and watch a film no matter how bad the ratings, well the asylum designed the formula for bad movies and filmed it, keep your mind closed to "so crap it's good films" and spare yourself the pain of watching this or anything else like it after this you will be begging to watch something like cat woman or highlander part !! just to remind you there is still a reason to live after watching eye ball bleeding rubbish.

my advice, watch anything other than this and remember there is still hope in the movie industry.

People: It's from The Asylum; It's meant to be awful!

[ikcaj · 8/10 · 23 August 2013]

So excited when I stumbled upon this new release from The Asylum on Netflix. (If Netflix so called "recommended" algorithm actually worked, I would've known about it the minute it hit the Net, but that's another review.)

If you're not a die-hard doomsday fan, and thus unfamiliar with The Asylum, you will hate this movie. Contrary to other reviewer statements, this film does not remotely take itself seriously. It has no greater ambitions than to fulfill contract obligations with SyFy Channel actors and do so in a manner that costs as little as possible.

It's simply the latest in a long line of "let's end the world on the smallest budget possible" films that are greatly beloved by by fans of the genre.

*Possible Spoiler* When little Johnny, played by a full grown adult, complains to mom that "People just exploded" and she replies, "Just be quiet and play your game", you know we've got a winner!

The new addition of narration that apparently comes from a parallel world given its ability to cross the space-time continuum is a bonus. (Random Character: "Oh, look it's going to rain". Random Newsperson: "As storms continue to rage, killing a bazillion people...")

In a film where a car is literally the main vehicle for plot advancement, and also happens to be the most lovable character, (" I can drive straight through an F-6 & not get a drop of rain on me", you really just gotta let go of your preconceived notions of plot development, or continuity 'cause The Asylum sure as a heck did.

Friends and neighbors, when you watch a movie made by The Asylum.....

[tarwaterthomas · 7/10 · 10 April 2024]

.....it's guaranteed that it's going to be a threadbare production featuring actors and actresses who used to be popular back in the day but don't get their phone calls returned by the major studios. And one of them is Casper Van Dien who was a big deal back in the 1990s when he starred in such films as STARSHIP TROOPERS (1997), and was even married for a time to an actual European princess. In 500 MPH STORM, Cappy stars as one-time meteorological expert Nathan Sims who got canned from a government project for sounding an alarm about an energy experiment that stood a good chance of going sideways. Well, guess what, it does. So Nathan gathers his wife Mona (Sarah Lieving) and their brat-boy son Johnny (Bryan Head) and they head for the foothills in the family SUV, with hurricane-force winds and flood waters that seem to pursue them. Us viewers see only the Sims family driving out of the city; we don't see anybody else. No traffic jams, no other motorists motoring to safety. And there are tornadoes a-plenty. The Sims family have a run-in with a creep who tries to carjack their ride. He doesn't succeed, of course. After holding up at a deserted forest ranger station, Nathan is persuaded by one-time colleague Simon Caprisi (Michael Beach) to return to the Apollo Project and find a way to shut off the generator before all those hurricanes merge into a "hyper cane" powerful enough to wipe out all of North America. Nathan's idea is to zap the storm with a beam of light that's powerful enough to kill the storm. After some histrionics and some delays, the titular storm is finally zapped out of existence. Yeah, finally. This movie looks like it was almost filmed in black and white, and some of the visual effects are well done when one considers the extremely low budget. Casper Van Dien does what all he can in this meager production. He looks like he spent two weeks in a drunk tank, then got dried out and made the feature. But there's not a dull moment to be found. And there you have it.

don't waste your time

[teka75 · 1/10 · 6 March 2013]

Over the years I've seen a bunch of bad movies and I thought it cant get worse ... well, till I saw this disaster. No worries about a spoiler. I can't tell the end!.

The worst acting I have ever seen. Awful special F/X, unbelievable Storm (when it's 500mph how can a regular car escape without any troubles), weather, fire (even I can do better with AfterEffects), 3D Animations what so ever computer effects ...

My Summery: I would rather be tortured with a 24h Teletubbies Marathon than watching this movie again or be forced to watch the rest. Who ever financed that movie mus have too much money. In that case he can write me a cheque.

awful

[kepner_march · 1/10 · 14 March 2013]

let your enemies watch this movie. you will not be a suspect. because they will die of heart attack because the movie sucks big time! what the H is Casper doing in this crap. my 4th year class could make a better movie than this director. if there is lower than 1 rating, this will be the movie. WORST MOVIE EVER!!! i didn't even finished it because it's disgusting!! the CGI is like a grade school doing it. the actors sucks big time. the costumes, everything sucks in this movie. I could write all the invectives in this movie and it would not be enough to describe this terrible movie. It really sucks big time. I wonder why IMDb included this in there list.

Best movie ever filmed.

[hallnanetu · 1/10 · 9 March 2013]

This is by far the best movie ever filmed. I'm still under impressions, even tho i did not manage to watch it till end. It's two times better than star wars, special effects wise, and the story is on same level as twilight saga.

Let me quote one of the reviews: "This is one of the best movies i have ever seen. when the movie was at an end i stood up cried and applauded".

I stood up and cried too, i cried so fu****g hard, i was questioning my own intelligence, the reasons behind this movie, does God exist, why is he punishing me? Why is there no rum ? Why is Earth rounded.

Do not watch this film, ever, you will suffer head trauma. I am serious.

Oh and here is the plot: Balloon, storm, car, car, storm, car, fire, storm, car, rape attempt, car, car, storm, helicopter, fire, storm, dead black guy, storm. the end.

Worth extra stars for the laughs

[aspieworld · 4/10 · 31 August 2014]

One scene in this movie is worth the 4 stars I gave it. To escape the conveniently slow-enough storm moving behind them, the family car is driven through an empty truck container. They all scream as they drive in, including the hero, Nathan. The scene cuts between them doing a Star-Trek style shaking inside the car, flinging themselves about and pulling faces, while outside the car the same shot of the storm is repeated, including what looks like a big feather flying across the screen. We get to see the big feather 3 times and then the car emerges with them all still screaming - though they weren't screaming inside the truck container. This is the funniest part of the film but it is worth watching for the other laughs. Oh, and if all teenagers in low budget films were told to shut up as often as the hero's son, then the world would be a better place. Yeah, shut up Johnny.

An Asylum stinker

[Leofwine_draca · 3/10 · 5 January 2015]

My mini splurge of Asylum disaster movies concludes with 500 MPH STORM, sadly one of the worst entries I've seen in the series (although nowhere near as bad as AGE OF ICE). This one follows a set plot line that heavily copies the other films (such as SUPER CYCLONE): a determined scientist must lead his friends/family through a series of increasingly dangerous situations, while the guys back at base try to figure out a way to stop the stuff from happening.

This time around, we're saddled with the ruggedly dependable Casper Van Dien, still recognisable from his STARSHIP TROOPERS days. He's the hero, given able support by Michael Beach as the 'back at base' guy, but unfortunately the rest of the cast are rubbish and the script seems entirely full of annoying characters, the worst of whom is Van Dien's son.

The characters end up running the usual gamut of weather phenomenon, and there's yet another one of those ludicrous scenes in which a car is supposed to be spinning through the air while the actors pretend to be thrown about inside it. Sadly, there just isn't much of interest here even for disaster fans; a handful of fun scenes and that's about it. My favourite bit is the DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE-inspired flooding tunnel, but the rest of the production is let down by appalling production values and a resolutely dull script despite the excitement inherent in the premise.

The exact same story as Fire Twister.

[13Funbags · 1/10 · 25 July 2019]

I know this was before Fire Twister but I watched them out of order so I didn't get to point out that they are the same movie on my review of that mess. The only difference is that in this movie they combined the characters of the scientist who knows how to stop it and the hunky action hero into one role for Casper Van Dien. It's extremely odd that he was the star of both movies but they were written and directed by different people. Just like the fire twister, the 500 MPH Storm only follows him and yet he has no problem avoiding it. Of course the cgi is terrible and the dialogue is some of the worst to ever be captured on film. The conversations Van Dien has with his family are brutal. The only cool thing about this movie was that there was a Spider-Ham hot air balloon. I'd only recommend watching this if you are going to watch Fire Twister also so you can see that they are the same movie.

"We're not taking that man's dog with us"

[hwg1957-102-265704 · 3/10 · 27 February 2021]

A family are caught up in a weather anomaly and help to bring down the 500 MPH hurricane, or 'hypercane' as it is called here. Not that gripping despite the promise of the title, though the CGI weather effects weren't abominable. What was poor was the ridiculous plot, inane dialogue and most of the acting. The family weren't that likeable so one didn't feel sympathy for them in their distress. Indeed one hoped that the son Johnny Sims (Bryan Head) would be blown away as early as possible as he was so annoying. Casper Van Dien as Nathan Sims looking shaggy does his best but one has to feel sorry for him being in such low budget material.

Do hurricanes team up to make a hypercane?

It's weather. It's unpredictable.

[nogodnomasters · 1/10 · 14 March 2018]

Contains plot "spoilers."

A nuclear reactor somehow gathers natural energy from the earth, you know wind, magnetic, and that plate shifting stuff and channels a beam of light into the atmosphere to create power so we can shut down all the oil rigs. (Message: Renewables bad. Oil good.) Nathan (Casper Van Dien) a man we know less about than the science I just fully explained, is an expect on this reactor and storms too. He is out with his family, which for some strange reason did NOT include Catherine Oxenberg. They are flying a hot air balloon, which makes for great film footage with a 500 MPH hurricane (BFH) headed you way. Can you say Oz Fest?

Sarah Lieving plays the remarkably calm wife, apparently facing death is easier than living with Casper Van Dien. Her lines while facing death include:

"Just calm down and play your game or something." "Honey, There is no Internet." and "I'll make sandwiches."

In this film they can't shut the reactor down because they had a "core meltdown." The script writer must have moved the year they taught science in school. I am not sure what film the DVD cover is from.

Nathan tries to save his family by out running and out maneuvering a BFH by darting around like a jack rabbit, making John Cusack's "2012" driving look like child's play. Don't try this at home. Ultimately his driving ability climaxes when he drives inside the tail end of a semi as it is skidding down the highway and then being thrown out the same end doing donuts, then finally moving forward outrunning said storm. I'm not sure how many laws of motion were violated in that one.

This is a SyFy family production one can rate at 1 star or 5 stars for a bad film.

Worst movie ever

[f-kalhammer · 4 April 2013]

Besides all the other facts mentioned in the other reviews (bad acting, even worse CGI, overruled laws of physics) there is not one single scene which is just basically consistent with the story itself. People are running from an incredible heavy storm either by foot or car just to find themselves suddenly in best weather conditions without even a moving cloud. The other guys they left just a minute ago remain in a rain storm which is in walking distance to a forest fire as dry as a Californian summer day. People run from flood waves again either by foot or car just to suddenly arrive on a dry mountain summit. Helicopters fly calmly through a storm, then they suddenly crash just to find themselves on a sunny clearing without so much as a wisp of wind.

I thought Jurassic Attack would be the ultimate low in movie making but this film proved me wrong. If there were negative numbers in this vote, I would not hesitate to assign a -10.

Best Parts

[jpt524 · 10/10 · 12 May 2013]

If you are looking for a gripping action/thriller this is not it. If you are looking for something comical whether its trying to be or not this is it. I watched this movie on Netflix with my family one night, and let me tell you we laughed straight into the next morning. This movie is so over the top, poorly written, poorly edited, and poorly acted in that your gut reaction will be to laugh. What makes it all the more funnier is that you can tell the staff and cast intended for this to be an intense blockbuster.

I seriously recommend this movie as a comedy not a thriller. you will not be disappointed. i suggest watching it with a group, not by yourself.

Effects

[mitchellrharl · 6/10 · 3 January 2021]

Good effects casting awful the scientist doesn't think fast enough wife and son bad casting Love action movies graphics great cast way off

"What If" in Albuquerque

[bhfrd · 2/10 · 4 August 2013]

Seriously silly, and so totally bad it's actually interesting, but maybe only to anyone who is familiar with Albuquerque, and has always wondered "what if" tornadoes, tsunami and other physically impossible weather villains were to afflict the city.

The special effects, such as the afore-mentioned storms personally following the family around in their car and then bearing down on some factory complex, combined with forest fires from above and at ground level were juvenile, and if you've ever wondered what it was like to wade across the Rio Grande past a floating corpse, then this movie is for you.

The chemistry between the pa, ma and junior is odd to say the least, and while at times their faces convey suitable chagrin at the sudden rain all over the Duke City, one does have to wonder how they can seem to drive all over, one scene being in the foothills, the next down by the river, and then suddenly they appear apparently up in the Sandia Mountains! I thought junior might have had the hots for his mom... strange dialog, and resentment towards dad.

Everyone they meet, which thankfully are few, are well-matched in terms of direction and acting abilities, although none of them ask "red or green"?

The wreckage they pass going up to the Tram area and elsewhere resemble newly-stripped autos more than anything from any accident, and the stray Pit Bull in one I think should have been a Prairie Dog.

Might be the only movie to start at the Albuquerque International Balloon Festival. Stick with "Breaking Bad", and "Lonely Are the Brave".