Supernatural (TV Series)

LARP and the Real Girl (2013)

Jared Padalecki: Sam Winchester

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sam Winchester : So, the toxicology report came back on Lance. Nothin'. But the medical examiner said his body showed clear signs that he was killed by Belladonna.

  Dean Winchester , Charlie Bradbury : [in unison]  The pornstar?

  Sam Winchester : The poison.

  Dean Winchester , Charlie Bradbury : [in unison]  Oh.

• Dean Winchester : [Reviewing Charlie's map in preparation for the battle of the Kingdom]  You know if you move your archers back and your broad swordsmen to the west...

  Charlie Bradbury : Oh. Flood the warriors.

  Dean Winchester : Yep.

  Charlie Bradbury : Good call.

  Dean Winchester : Thanks.

  Charlie Bradbury : What about the southern wall?

  Sam Winchester : Guys!

  Dean Winchester : Yeah. Right. Sorry.

  [He quietly shifts a catapult to a different position on the map and he and Charlie exchange nods] 

• Dean Winchester : [In full getup, face paint and wig, pacing in front of the Queen's army, preparing for the battle of the Kingdom and having some fun!]  Dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade *all* the days... from this day to that... for one chance...

  Charlie Bradbury : [Whispering to Sam, who is also dressed for the occasion]  Isn't that the speech from...

  Sam Winchester : [Whispering back]  It's the only one he knows.

  Dean Winchester : Just *one* chance... to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they will never take...

  LARPer : Hold!

  [a Frisbee flies through the air and lands on the ground near Dean. Everyone waits while a guy runs up, grabs it and runs out] 

  Dean Winchester : [Nods to the player to resume]  Our freedom!

  [the warriors all charge across the field with Sam and Dean in the lead] 

• Sam Winchester : [Answered his cell]  Garth, hey. Really. Okay, uh, yeah. Thanks, man. Oh, hey, hey Garth. Garth, you there? How'd you know where we are?

  [pause] 

  Sam Winchester : Look, it's bad enough that you're tracking us. But, it's even worse when you say... we've... been... Garthed.

• Dean Winchester : We want to know about the, uh, the texts you sent Ed last night.

  Lance Jacobsen : I told them when they brought me in those texts weren't from me.

  Sam Winchester : Well, your phone and Ed's phone say otherwise.

  Lance Jacobsen : No, I mean, they were from me. But, they weren't from *me* me.

  Dean Winchester : [Exchanges a look with Sam]  Did you really think that sentence was gonna clear things up?

• Sam Winchester : [Walking up to see Dean in his Moondoor outfit]  Nice outfit.

  Dean Winchester : You love it.

• Dean Winchester : [He and Sam are following Charlie, but Dean is distracted and picks up a fake sword just used in a fake duel]  Nice balance.

  Sam Winchester : [Turns back to Dean]  Dude.

  Dean Winchester : Yeah.

  [He follows Sam still carrying the fake sword] 

• Gerry : [At a meeting to exchange a shadow ork for Charlie]  Greetings, heretics.

  Max Hilby : You should kneel before me, cur.

  Dean Winchester : [Getting impatient]  Alright. Why don't you let me...

  Gerry : Silence!

  [to the Shadow King] 

  Gerry : Now. Before we exchange, a few announcements.

  [He and the Shadow King step toward each other and break character] 

  Gerry : There is a peewee league soccer playoff game tomorrow on the alpha field. We don't want to freak out the mundane, so we gotta move the battle of Kingdoms to the beta...

  Dean Winchester : [All patience gone, he pulls out his gun]  Alright. That's it. You know what? I'm gonna do this the old fashioned way.

  Sam Winchester : Dean, don't...

  Dean Winchester : No!

  Gerry : I told you...

  Dean Winchester : Shut up!

  [Walks up to the Shadow King with his gun] 

  Dean Winchester : Alright. I need real answers. This here is a real gun. See?

  [He fires the gun into the ground and everyone but Sam jumps] 

  Max Hilby : Whoa! Hold. Hold! Geez!

  Dean Winchester : [Pointing his gun at him]  Start talking. Where's the queen?

  Max Hilby : I don't know!

  Dean Winchester : [Pointing his gun at the Tree of Pain on Max's shirt]  Yeah, well, your, uh, your little family crest there tells a different story, pal.

  Max Hilby : [Pointing to his shirt]  This?

  Dean Winchester : Yeah.

  Max Hilby : [He removes his glove and pulls up his sleeve to show the same tree on his arm]  Uh. I got sick last month after this thing just appeared on my arm. I thought it looked really cool so I turned it into my family crest. I mean, after my dermatologist said it wasn't malignant.

• Sam Winchester : Charlie knows Moondoor a lot better than we do. We need her.

  Dean Winchester : Sam, I think we can take care of a bunch of accountants with foam swords.

• Sam Winchester : Charlie, I'm gonna need to borrow your laptop.

  Charlie Bradbury : There are no laptops in Moondoor.

  [Sam gives her a look] 

  Charlie Bradbury : What? There are rules.

• Sam Winchester : So, anything... missing from the body?

  Sheriff Jake Miller : You mean aside from the arms and legs? Uh...

  [Chuckling] 

  Sheriff Jake Miller : Nope. All there. Twig and berries, too.

• Sam Winchester : Why are you being so helpful all of a sudden?

  Shadow Orc in Stocks : Look, I harbor an epic crush on the queen. Maybe you could put in a good word for me when you find her?

  Dean Winchester : I don't think you're her type.

  Shadow Orc in Stocks : What? You mean she's not into Orcs?

• Lance Jacobsen : I called Ed after game hours and accused him of cheating, and then I challenged him to a duel.

  Sam Winchester : A duel?

  Lance Jacobsen : Wands and swords at dawn.

  Dean Winchester : Now, when you say "wands" do you mean magic wands?

  Lance Jacobsen : No. Un-magic wands, Agent. Because what I really want in a duel is an un-magic wand. Yes! Fake wands! It's a game!

• Sam Winchester : [about Celtic tree symbol]  You recognize it from anything?

  Dean Winchester : A Tim Burton movie?

• Gerry : Would a loser track down a real book of spells and compel a fairy to do his bidding?

  Sam Winchester : It depends. How'd you get it?

  Gerry : [Sheepish]  eBay.