Modern Family (TV Series)

Arrested (2012)

Joe Adler: Aidan Schwartz

Quotes 

• Aidan Schwartz : You are charged with public drunkenness, resisting arrest, and assaulting a police officer, all of which obviously violate our school's code of conduct.

  Mitchell Pritchett : Sir, if I may speak on behalf of my client...

  Dean Miller : Who are you?

  Mitchell Pritchett : I'm Mitchell Pritchett, I'm Ms. Dunphy's attorney.

  Aidan Schwartz : We require students to speak for themselves. There are no attorneys allowed. You shouldn't even be here.

  Mitchell Pritchett : What if I just sat in this chair and I was really super-quiet and I just listen?

  Aidan Schwartz : I'll allow it.

  Dean Miller : Knock it off, Aidan. Ms. Dunphy, is there anything you would like to say in your defense?

  Haley Dunphy : Actually, I have no defense. I was drinking. I am underage. I ran from the police. And even though it was an accident, I injured an officer. I am very, very sorry. I've made a lot of bad decisions since I've been here, and it's time I take some responsibility. Like sometimes in the dining hall, I slip my pinky under the scale when they weigh my salad. Also, I've missed more morning classes than I've been to. I don't know what the policy is on dating TAs, but I think I broke it. Twice.

  Phil Dunphy : [quietly]  Oh, man.

  Haley Dunphy : And if we're gonna be completely honest, on my application to get in here, I lied about the fact that I was...

  Phil Dunphy : Uh, objection!

  Aidan Schwartz : On what grounds?

  Mitchell Pritchett : Oh, he gets to say it? He gets...

  Dean Miller : Ms. Dunphy. Ms. Dunphy, we appreciate your... candor. Is there anything else you'd like to add?

  Haley Dunphy : Go Wildcats?

  Dean Miller : Oh, boy.

  Aidan Schwartz : That's not even our mascot.

• Dean Miller : Haley Dunphy?

  Haley Dunphy : Yes, that's me.

  Dean Miller : I'm Dean Miller with Admissions. This is Professor Williams.

  Haley Dunphy : Hi.

  Dean Miller : And this is our student representative, Aidan Feldman.

  Haley Dunphy : Nice to meet you.

  Aidan Schwartz : Seriously? We sit next to each other in Econ.

  Haley Dunphy : Oh, right. You...

  Aidan Schwartz : Don't. It insults both of us. Mostly me.

  Dean Miller : Move it along, Aidan. This is a disciplinary hearing, not JDate.