Modern Family (TV Series)
Yard Sale (2012)
Sofía Vergara: Gloria Delgado-Pritchett
Photos
Quotes
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Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : [about being a ventriloquist at a beauty pageant] I practiced for weeks, but when it came time for me to perform, I froze. I went speechless.
Mitchell Pritchett : And you lost.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : No, I won.
[Gestures at herself]
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Imagine this when I was eighteen.
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Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : It's going to back in the attic, and I want no more questions.
Manny Delgado : Why?
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : That's a question.
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Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : What is this case doing here?
Manny Delgado : I found it in the attic. Why? What is it?
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : [stopping him as he moves to open it] Nothing that concerns you. It's from Colombia.
Manny Delgado : But I thought you said...
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : You thought *nothing*.
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Luke Dunphy : Sorry for snooping around and finding your old-man doll.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : In Colombia, if you snoop around the wrong box, you might end up *inside* that box.
Luke Dunphy : I shouldn't have done it. Now I feel bad for Manny.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : What do you mean?
Luke Dunphy : Well, I don't know. He's always talking about how brave you are, how you're not afraid of anything. Now... he just seems a little sad.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : How sad?
Luke Dunphy : Don't worry. It's a good thing. He needs a little dose of reality. You walk around school telling everyone how great your mommy is all the time, you find yourself on the business end of a wedgie.
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Phil Dunphy : No way! You're selling the Harley?
Jay Pritchett : No, I'm just trying to move it out of the way. Some asshat offered me a hundred bucks for it. But with the baby coming, I guess I am gonna sell it.
Phil Dunphy : Well, she's a beaut.
Jay Pritchett : What, you wouldn't be interested in it, would you?
Phil Dunphy : Why wouldn't I be?
Jay Pritchett : Well, I just never thought of you as a motorcycle kind of guy.
Phil Dunphy : Well, I would be if Claire would ever let me have one.
Claire Dunphy : You can have a motorcycle if you want.
Phil Dunphy : Ha ha ha! Can I also have an affair with my super-hot receptionist?
Claire Dunphy : What super-hot receptionist?
Phil Dunphy : Don't change the subject. Now, what would everybody like for lunch?
Claire Dunphy : You don't have to buy a motorcycle if you don't want one. But don't blame it on me. I'm fine with it.
Phil Dunphy : Seriously?
Claire Dunphy : Yeah. Yeah, look, I know it's not the safest thing in the world. But it is sexy.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Yes. A lot more sexy than that crazy machine you rode up on.
Claire Dunphy : Mm.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Is that something that your doctor make you use?
Jay Pritchett : All right, I'm gonna take this around back, unless you'd like to go for a test drive.
Phil Dunphy : Sure. Let's go. Not too fast. Precious cargo.
Jay Pritchett : I'm not taking you, sweetheart.
Phil Dunphy : I'm driving?
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Mitchell Pritchett : Well, we ruined Alex's life, by the way.
Claire Dunphy : I don't know. She looks okay.
Cameron Tucker : [seeing Alex with Michael] Oh, looks like they made up.
Claire Dunphy : Hmm. If she would just listen to me, I could help her avoid so much pain.
Mitchell Pritchett : Give it a rest. She's 14, all right? No matter who that boy is, he's not gonna last.
Claire Dunphy : Mm, you're right.
Cameron Tucker : Well, at least with a gay kid, you know she's gonna get a great flower arrangement. Should've seen the one I made Annabelle. Arranged it myself. It was gorgeous; 'til she pulled it apart and spelled "homo" on my porch.
Claire Dunphy : This doesn't make me feel any better.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : [carrying Mr. Grumpy out] Gather around, everybody. I want you to meet somebody.
Claire Dunphy : Oh, but that might.
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Jay Pritchett : Ugh, I hate garage sales. Bunch of shady characters going through my stuff. Why can't I just write a check?
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Ay, relax, Jay. It's just a couple of people in the driveway.
Jay Pritchett : Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where it starts. Then it's "It's just a local call." "Can I use your bathroom?". "My mother needs to lie down." No, it just stinks.
Manny Delgado : He did write a check.
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : Shh! The less he knows, the better.