First off, I consider myself a huge Ross Patterson fan. I own all of his movies and his book and I'm pretty sure I have a lock of hair floating around somewhere in my house. That being said, it saddens me that I couldn't give this movie the stellar review I'd hoped. First off, the movie is outrageous, which is great; the title alone is enough to make a viewer chuckle. Second, the main actors did an amazing job especially Jesse Merlin who portrayed Helen Keller's gay brother. Now for the bad news. It seems to me that director Ross Patterson simply took the elements that worked in his previous movies (Voice overs for example) then did them to death in Helen Keller vs. Nightwolves. The scenes with Saint James Street James didn't even compare to those in Poolboy 2 Drowning Out the Fury, and a lot of the times the over the top elements of the movie went on just a bit too long and became annoying. To put it in simple terms, I just didn't find myself laughing very much (even while viewing during alcohol consumption), and that is why a viewer watches a Ross Patterson movie, to laugh. Any fan of crazy comedies will get a kick out of this movie, but in terms of Ross Patterson movies it is a HJ. It will never be your first choice, but after a sad sigh you will take it. No hard feelings Ross, looking forward to the next one.
13 Reviews
Pie!
nogodnomasters12 March 2018
Warning: Spoilers
This is the third in the series of a Masterpiece Theater spoof hosted by St. James St. James (pronounced Saint James Street James). In this story he corrects history by giving us the real story of Helen Keller, made blind and deaf by nightwolves, which she learned to fight blind and deaf.
The film is designed to be campy and spoofs modern society and film making, but not as good as they could do it. The jokes got old and the bits were expected. The anachronism shamelessly abounded as part of the humor, but when flooded by them, it loses its appeal. Helen Keller jokes were very funny when I was nine, as an adult, they are simply old...besides they missed the best ones and messed up others.
Guide: F-bomb. No sex or nudity.
The film is designed to be campy and spoofs modern society and film making, but not as good as they could do it. The jokes got old and the bits were expected. The anachronism shamelessly abounded as part of the humor, but when flooded by them, it loses its appeal. Helen Keller jokes were very funny when I was nine, as an adult, they are simply old...besides they missed the best ones and messed up others.
Guide: F-bomb. No sex or nudity.
Hellen Keller like you've never seen her
finetunes31 October 2021
I love big budget comedies and this one didn't disappoint - the grandeur, the pomp and ceremony like no other movie. Here director Patterson melds history and pseudolycanthopy like Powell and Pressburger never could. How they trained thousands of wolves would make for a great documentary and I know the fan club is campaigning for it. What makes the movie even greater is the fact that the cast and crew worked in perfect harmony because they could relate to the dysfunctional Keller family.
Not everything was perfect, frankly, I found the movie hard to rate; I found most of the movie earning a 10 but where it fell short was the sad fact that the lead wolves were cast against type, que lastima.
For the full Helen Keller movie experience, watch it with your eyes closed and the sound turned off.
Now for the spoilers - the couple having sex get killed in the second act and Kate Beckinsale's cameo ended up on the cutting floor.
Not everything was perfect, frankly, I found the movie hard to rate; I found most of the movie earning a 10 but where it fell short was the sad fact that the lead wolves were cast against type, que lastima.
For the full Helen Keller movie experience, watch it with your eyes closed and the sound turned off.
Now for the spoilers - the couple having sex get killed in the second act and Kate Beckinsale's cameo ended up on the cutting floor.
Helen Keller vs. Nightwolves: Sorry, was that meant to be funny?
Platypuschow20 April 2019
I'm quite partial to weird movies and over the years I've seen some truly bizarre stuff, but it still needs to entertain and this anus stuffed garbage fire simply doesn't.
It tells the story (And I use that term very very loosely) of Helen Keller regaling people with tales of how she became a famed wolf hunter and overcame losing her senses.
It's a comedy of the "Gonzo" variety and is as funny as a play written by three 4yr olds. Every joke made me cringe, it's not that it wasn't funny but that it was so unfunny it was painful to endure. This was one of those movies I struggled to make it through and made me curse my belief that you have to watch a movie all the way through to have a right to judge it.
Every single joke! So so bad, and after watching this and the easy bottom 10 Mummy Reborn (2019) I'm wondering what I did to deserve this travesty.
Starring the excellent Lin Shaye and a host of other notable stars I can only assume they owed someone a favor to be part of this calamity.
Just embarrassing.
The Good:
Decent opening
The Bad:
Outstandingly stupid
Cast are too good for this
WTF!?
It tells the story (And I use that term very very loosely) of Helen Keller regaling people with tales of how she became a famed wolf hunter and overcame losing her senses.
It's a comedy of the "Gonzo" variety and is as funny as a play written by three 4yr olds. Every joke made me cringe, it's not that it wasn't funny but that it was so unfunny it was painful to endure. This was one of those movies I struggled to make it through and made me curse my belief that you have to watch a movie all the way through to have a right to judge it.
Every single joke! So so bad, and after watching this and the easy bottom 10 Mummy Reborn (2019) I'm wondering what I did to deserve this travesty.
Starring the excellent Lin Shaye and a host of other notable stars I can only assume they owed someone a favor to be part of this calamity.
Just embarrassing.
The Good:
Decent opening
The Bad:
Outstandingly stupid
Cast are too good for this
WTF!?
An embarrassment
Leofwine_draca11 August 2017
Warning: Spoilers
I felt embarrassed while watching this deeply juvenile and completely offensive B-movie, which takes the story of the real-life deaf/blind Helen Keller and mixes it with werewolves in a way similar to ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER. This is a film that mercilessly lampoons the disabled; the depiction of the bumbling, idiotic Keller character is stupid beyond belief, and the poor production values means that the action rarely leaves a single set. The humour is forced and unfunny, and how they got 'proper' actors like Barry Bostwick and Lin Shaye to appear, I have no idea.
Should've been shorter
flyswm27 October 2019
I felt like I was really there...
rossangeles300010 November 2015
Not only did the director capture the true essence of who Helen Keller really was, it seems like he LIVED it. Did I direct it? Maybe. But ask yourself this... didn't WE all direct it? Once you see these Nightwolves up close in stock footage you'll feel as if you were really there throughout every single last page ever taught to us in a history book. I for one LOVED it. NAY, I NEEDED this film. Anyone who says they didn't like this film probably needs to get their bicycle seats adjusted by a professional at a bike shop. Not just some hobbyist out in a garage. I'm talking about a real bicycle shop in a metropolitan area.
Tries, but just doesn't make it.
RobertBeach0022 March 2020
There are 3 types of cheezey B movies: a) those that take themselves seriously, but are just bad (Plan 9 from Outer Space, Manos: Hands of Fate, etc) b) those that are a spoof of "a" (Rocky Horror, Skeleton of Cadavra) and c) those that try to be "b" but fail. Helen Keller vs the Nightwolves is c. It wanted to be on par with "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" , but it simply isn't.
Best Movie Of My Entire Life
theomegaknight5 November 2015
This was the most exquisite, fantastic movie of my entire life. I have never seen such a well directed, supremely acted piece of work. The visual effects were absolutely stellar. I was titillated the entire way through. The dark humor was tactful and elegant, while the action was raw and coarse. It is not only entertaining, but exceptionally educational. The real story of Hellen Keller is honestly something that should be taught in schools across the globe. It is a story that needs to be told.
Unfortunately, my viewing partner acquired cancer half-way through the movie, so I was forced to halt my experience. I would definitely recommend to all ages, sexes, genders, and those with disabilities.
Unfortunately, my viewing partner acquired cancer half-way through the movie, so I was forced to halt my experience. I would definitely recommend to all ages, sexes, genders, and those with disabilities.
Absolutely Fantastic!
xanderfritsch10 February 2023
Personally I think this movie is a 0/10. Very good movie, highly recommend.
This really is a Must See!
One of the Best Movies Ever Made One of the Best Movies Ever Made
30 Minutes of Pure Pure Necessity 3,190 views 3,190 views
In this film, four artists struggle to present their film, inspired by existentialist literature, at a film festival in Tangiers.
A Bunch of Dramatic Omissions In this film, two Oscar award winning actors gather in NYC to discuss their careers with newcomer Talisa Soto, who is making her professional acting debut. The evening is filled with long-winded monologues, melodramatic dramatics and multiple departures from the facts.
Somewhat Disappointing Sequel This is an extremely long movie that has about 40 main characters and about 100 sub-characters. What makes it more interesting is the fact that it's a coming-of-age story for each.
This really is a Must See!
One of the Best Movies Ever Made One of the Best Movies Ever Made
30 Minutes of Pure Pure Necessity 3,190 views 3,190 views
In this film, four artists struggle to present their film, inspired by existentialist literature, at a film festival in Tangiers.
A Bunch of Dramatic Omissions In this film, two Oscar award winning actors gather in NYC to discuss their careers with newcomer Talisa Soto, who is making her professional acting debut. The evening is filled with long-winded monologues, melodramatic dramatics and multiple departures from the facts.
Somewhat Disappointing Sequel This is an extremely long movie that has about 40 main characters and about 100 sub-characters. What makes it more interesting is the fact that it's a coming-of-age story for each.
Masterpiece
colinpasternick31 July 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Ross Patterson is a genius, HK vs Nightwolves is a master. His use of camera angles and special effects is amazing, HK vs Nightwolves ranks up with Range15, The Godfather, Raging Bull, and Gone with the Wind. This movie is a must watch, prepare yourself to be blown away. Grab a France Press, some Leadslingers Whisky and some lube, dim the lights and enjoy, Ross Patterson brings it home. The cast is outstanding, JT, Rocco, and Matt Best bring it to the next level, won't be surprised if the are nominated for Oscars. Watch this movie with your family, you will enjoy it and the kids will learn the true story of Hellen Keller, not the stuff stuff they learn in school.
Masterpiece
ooferboofer10 February 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Starring Shailene Woodley, this riveting film focuses on a deaf / blind teenager who becomes a wolf in order to defend her family.
She gets kicked out of her house, and starts life anew in a wolf pack.
But things aren't as they seem, and she soon learns that the humans and the animals are not as they seem.
(This film is rated R) This is only a small portion of the documentary that they are making for Netflix.
From what I saw, it is going to be pretty phenomenal.
Overall, I'm really sad that I missed this show during the first two seasons.
If you are an anime fan, you definitely should watch.
She gets kicked out of her house, and starts life anew in a wolf pack.
But things aren't as they seem, and she soon learns that the humans and the animals are not as they seem.
(This film is rated R) This is only a small portion of the documentary that they are making for Netflix.
From what I saw, it is going to be pretty phenomenal.
Overall, I'm really sad that I missed this show during the first two seasons.
If you are an anime fan, you definitely should watch.
See also
Awards | FAQ | User Ratings | External Reviews | Metacritic Reviews
