- Jimmy Chance: Do you know anything about gay people?
- Burt Chance: I think sometimes they like to wear handkerchiefs.
- Jimmy Chance: Okay, I can work with that.
- Burt Chance: Do you need to... buy a handkerchief?
- Jimmy Chance: What? No!
- Burt Chance: 'Cause it'd be cool if you did.
- Burt Chance: I don't care what those guys running for president say, this is the best country in the world.
- Burt Chance: [after suggesting going to a gay bar with Jimmy] I have always wanted to know what goes on in those places. Who buys the drinks? Do they have a women's bathroom, or just twice as many urinals? If you say to the bartender, "I'm in the mood for some nuts," what do you get? When you think about it, I'm super gay-curious!