- Liz Lemon: Blarf! OK, we are at a Code Orange here, people. A magazine has said that Jenna is 56.
- Pete Hornberger: God, no! I have children!
- Jenna Maroney: If I find out that someone around here planted this disgusting story that I'm young, I'm gonna do to them what I did to my own ribs: take them out.
- Jack Donaghy: Thank you for coming in, gentlemen. I look forward to discovering exactly what each of you has to offer Zarina that I do not. I know she has a sex idiot for uninhibited experimentation.
- Ryan Lochte: No, I'm pretty sure we're in love.
- Jack Donaghy: A filthy hippie to make her feel bohemian. I get it, I can't give her that... Someone to make her parents angry.
- Black Nerd: Aw, man, is that all I am to her? It's 2012.
- Jack Donaghy: Sorry, Norbert. The truth hurts. Interesting. A mean Wall Street type. I would have thought I was the money guy. So what does that make me? Just the perfect head of hair?
- Hair Guy: Hey. Sorry I'm late.
- Jack Donaghy: Heavenly father. You must be Ken Tremendous. I don't understand. What am I doing here? We've covered all the classic boyfriend archetypes. Except the father figure. Where is that guy, am I right? The one who falls asleep at the opera, and doesn't notice that she's texting her real boyfriend from his bed. Where's that sucker?
- Ryan Lochte: Oh no, is it me?