Slink (2013) User Reviews

Something for the "bad taste"-party

[oletomato · 2/10 · 13 August 2013]

I have to agree with iraz. This whole movie is really, really bad. It might be worth watching if you like to make fun of cheap films with bad actors.

This whole movie looks like some not-so-popular porn stars try to make a serious movie.

To the details: Very poor story. This is just a simple "maniac kills everyone" - plot without ANY new idea that hasn't been used before. Acting: As I said before: Expect better acting in a soft porn movie

On the positive side you might get a look at some really good looking (but bad acting) girls, if you don't mind botox and silicon.

Get something else OR: Just watch the trailer. You can get a lot of the "acting" in the movie from that.

Terrible movie.

[dlmyst-29813 · 2/10 · 3 February 2020]

The acting was horrendous but the story concept was interesting. That's the reason for the 2 stars instead of 1. The majority of the actors felt like they were reading the script offstage and felt so fake. The purse store owner looked like she had one too many plastic surgeries and the fake contacts, omg. Don't waste your time with this one.

Approach with caution, because this one reeks...

[paul_haakonsen · 1/10 · 16 August 2013]

Given the synopsis for this movie, you know that you are not going to be in for something great. But still, I decided to give the movie a chance, you just might never know, it could have been the surprise of the century...

...but it wasn't. By all that is unholy, this movie was just awful. It is without a doubt one of the worst horror/thriller movies I have had to suffer through. The storyline was, well, boring to say the least. The characters were one-dimensional and the acting was wooden at best. This whole movie just reeked.

But it gets better, apparently most of the movie was just about having to show off more or less naked ladies on the screen as they were to make use of the tanning salon. And the fight scenes in the movie, well I will not say anything, because it has to be seen to be believed. Yeah, it was that bad.

The storyline in "Slink", or what passed as a storyline, is about a maniacal tanning salon owner who uses the customers for supplying his deranged purse-making wife with materials for her handiwork.

That was basically it for the story. It never at one moment had me captivated at any point, as there just was nothing in the movie to support a proper story. And the horrendous acting did nothing to help the movie along. Maybe it is just me, but were some of the people in the movie something taken out from a 'when plastic surgery goes bad' TV show?

Usually I don't pay much attention to the music score and soundtrack in movies, but this was just outstanding. And not in a good way, mind you. The music, well if you can actually call it that, was just an atrocity in itself. It was really, really bad, even for a horror movie.

Do yourself a favor and don't waste 80 minutes on watching this. Even bad horror movies from the mid-eighties were better than this one. It is without a doubt in the top ten worst horror movies that I have seen in my 38 years so far.

And they say that you can't help but look when you're pass by an accident site, this movie will prove them wrong. This accident of a movie will not catch your eye, I guarantee it.

"Slink" away quickly from this turkey!

[iraz · 15 June 2013]

This "Film" had a 7.0 rating from a handful of reviewers. One of the external reviewers called this film "intelligent". The only way intelligent can be associated with this trash, is for those who stayed away from it.

Please do yourself a big favor and skip this one! It is one of the worst films I have ever seen with only one redeeming quality and that's several attractive women who remove their clothes (far too quickly). Films like this give the horror genre a bad name and makes me want to swear off ALL horror films except for those who are reviewed by individuals I trust.

The other positive point is it is consistent; every aspect of this film is done poorly! Terrible plot, horrific acting, virtually no direction, annoying music, no suspense, no terror. This was 80 minutes that felt like 240 minutes. SKIP IT!! Burn whatever copies you can get your hands on.

Jack, Ryan and Goeff on a couch

[mckenziekeel · 1/10 · 20 May 2016]

This movie is just not good, the plot, the actors, the cinematography and the editing are all terrible. The lack of acting skill in this film is apparent from the opening scene with "Bill Nye the Sexual Predator Guy" and some random girl trying to clean a tanning bed. Furthermore, the dialog felt more like the initial read-through of the script rather than normal speaking people. I will say that I would have never watched this film if it were not for Achievement Hunter. If it were not for their commentary during this film I would have no idea what was going on. This so called plot jumps around so much and at times goes completely out the door, with random characters thrown in for the sole purpose to get naked. I mean there was so little character introduction and development that I could not tell you their names to save my life. So all I can say about this plot, is that some plastic surgery nightmare of a woman who is also a purse maker is in the same room as the comb over creep. These two kill young girls to make their skin into leather, then these girls get naked and it turns into something resembling a bad porn parody. I cannot stress enough how much this film just cuts to the most random crap that has ZERO relevance to any later part of the film. I mean the main characters sister gets killed about halfway through and no-one asks where she is, its like she just doesn't exist. I mean to be honest this film is like watching a plane crash, its a terrible thing to witness but you can't turn away because maybe a holy miracle might just save the day....... IT DOES NOT.

So if you think my review jumps around and has no real clear direction or flow, then don't watch this turd because its even worse.

But if you just really need to watch this I recommend getting a subscription to RoosterTeeth and watching it with their commentary, they are the only way to make this film remotely watchable.

Truly Atrocious

[t-w-anderson · 1/10 · 9 June 2016]

Literally the only way this movie could be even remotely watchable is on Theater Mode (which is a movie-ridiculing show), and even then it's painful. I don't claim to know much about movie production but I'm reasonably sure that even I could've done a better job of this film than its director. The total lack of talent and expertise is obvious throughout the movie. The direction is so poor it looks like every scene was done in one take regardless of its quality. The writing isn't nearly as bad as the acting, and even so it's still not great. There are some movies that are bad enough to be funny, but this film surpasses the funny margin. It's so bad it's not even funny. Do not under any circumstances watch this movie unless it's on Theater Mode.

Bad

[dmerrill-537-56275 · 1/10 · 24 November 2019]

I watched this on Tubi TV and I'm honestly not sure why I finished it. I guess the initial idea for a horror movie wasn't the worst I've seen. Unfortunately, the dialog was awful. The acting was possibly the worst I've seen in a free Tubi horror movie. There's very little redeeming here. You'd be better off watching a rerun of This Old House. And that says a lot, because I can't stand that show. But the acting is on a par. My advice, don't stick it out until the end because it doesn't really have an ending. Oh, and there are scenes where they plainly lost the sound track, because it's dead silent. No, it isn't an artistic choice, they just plainly did not have sound for those parts. Yes, it is that bad.

Movie Basics

[don-34566 · 1/10 · 14 November 2021]

Even the worst movies have some kind of music for title and transitions. I would check out their other works, but...I other things to do. Thankfully, Aunt May identified herself cuz I didn't know who any of the other characters were. Still, I've seen worse.

Holy Cow

[arfdawg-1 · 1/10 · 24 May 2023]

The movie starts with an old dude with the worst dyed red hair in history, interviewing a high school student who looks like she's 30 at a tannning salon.

He goes in the back room to talk to (his wife?) a really bad plastic surgeried old chick who promptly takes a hammer for no reason and kills the girl. Cut to titles.

Hands down this is one of the worst movies I've seen in a while. The acting is attroctious. The storyline is downright dumb and none of it makes sense.

Full disclosure: I wound up fast forwarding through large chucks of the movie because it's unwatchable. The only decent parts are when the silicone babes remove their clothes to get on the tanning bed.

Great horror flick

[rebekahmasters84 · 10/10 · 17 August 2013]

Great Trailer , made me want to watch the movie and when I did I did not regret the purchase. Great horror flick with an eye for fresh ideas and new talent. Director Jared Masters obviously had an eye for an intriguing storyline which captures your imagination and leaves you wanting more. Love Danika among other actors in film and the film did not disappoint. Wasn't your same old average horror film because the screenplay was a new fresh idea with fresh new faces who have talent. Won best indie horror film for 2013 at the EOTM awards in Hollywood. Congrats and well deserved . Looking forward to more films from the this new you d and talented director. Perhaps a "Slink 2" or some other genres . Looking forward to his next film "Teachers Day" which is sure to be a winner.

Blood young

[jhonjatenjor · 10/10 · 20 February 2021]

The protagonist of the story reflects the full representation of living an adrenaline-filled youth, without seeing the consequences.

Dawna Lee Heising is a great actress, she gave a very good performance, I admire her work and it is good that she works with new blood in cinema, her experience together with new ideas, will consolidate a jewel in her interpretations.

Everything you want in a thriller

[thisissquirrels · 10/10 · 18 August 2013]

This film has everything you could want in a thriller. The plot is suspenseful, the female cast is gorgeous, and the twisted ending leaves you suspicious of your neighbors. Some other previous reviews had said that the music was not up to their standards; however, I would argue that the music is unique and eerie. I was entertained for the full 80 minutes, which is more than I can say for any horror movie I have seen in the past few years. I laughed at times, and at other times was simply horrified. Art Roberts acting was spot on. He played the part of a creepy sadistic man perfectly- him and his wife, Joan, were perfect together. All and all great film, well done.