A Field in England (2013)

Peter Ferdinando: Jacob

Photos 

Quotes 

• Friend : When you get to the alehouse, see a way to get a message to my wife.

  Jacob : Anything, Friend. Anything.

  Friend : Tell her... tell her I hate her. Tell her I did burn her father's barn. 'Twas payment for forcing our marriage. Tell her I loved her sister. Who I had. Many times. From behind. Like a beautiful prize sow.

  Jacob : If I'd have known that, I would have paid you more respect, brother.

• Jacob : What this party lacks is the civilising influence of women.

• Jacob : Am I bewitched?

  Whitehead : No. Sir, you merely suffer a disease in the private parts, occasioned by too much venereal sport.

  Jacob : 'This all?

  Whitehead : Well, I also deduce gout, bloody flux, apostem of the mouth, the pissing disease, St. Anthony's fire, iliac passion, hemorrhoids and palsy brought on by drink.

  Jacob : Then, I'm not turn into a frog?

  Whitehead : 'Tis the one complaint you do not suffer besides plague. All I can do is administer a poultice to your yard, to soothe.

  Jacob : Thank you.

• Jacob : I'm going to have a shit.

  [Grunting and Panting] 

  Friend : Sounds like hard work. Is it a boy or a girl?

  Jacob : Fuck off! Ah, fucking nettles.

  Friend : Yeah. You all right? You've got shit on you as well.

  Jacob : Help me up. You never seen a man have a shit before? Go on, fuck off.

• Jacob : Am I bewitched?

  Whitehead : No. Sir, you merely suffer a disease in the private parts, occasioned by too much venereal sport.

  Jacob : 'This all?

  Whitehead : Well, I also deduce gout, bloody flux, apostem of the mouth, the pissing disease, St. Anthony's fire, iliac passion, haemorrhoids and palsy brought on by drink.

  Jacob : Then, I'm not turn into a frog?

  Whitehead : 'Tis the one complaint you do not suffer besides plague. All I can do is administer a poultice to your yard, to soothe.

  Jacob : Thank you.

• Jacob : Friend. My business with your man is concluded. If 'tis all the same, I might bob off now. I confess I feel peaky. Could you do a few hours' kip?

  O'Neil : Do not address me as friend and do not speak to me directly again. Otherwise I'll turn you into a frog.

• Jacob : He's the king of cold-hearted bastards, I'll give him that. Could do with more like him in the ranks.

• Jacob : Sooner I get back to fucking London, the fucking better. A new fucking coat. Fucking doors that fucking shut. And citizens that pay small fucking reckoning to astrology. I would rather die of the fucking plague in the fucking fleet than spend another fucking minute in the countryside.