- Shauna: I have something to give you.
- Bart Simpson: What can a girl possibly give...
- [Shauna flashes him]
- Bart Simpson: [Thinking] Oh, my God! They're just like dad's!
- Homer Simpson: She walked away, and she slammed the door. What does it mean?
- Marge Simpson: It means that I'm mad!
- Homer Simpson: That is such a first take answer.
- Shauna: That's my boyfriend. He's a total wad. Bart is not a wad. He's a dink in the way to becoming a dork.
- Lisa Simpson: Hear, hear.
- Shauna: I want to discover who I really am, and that is something only an inappropiately older man can give me.
- Bart Simpson: That is one lucky creepy guy.
- Bart Simpson: Listen, sister! You do not mess with the man in the skull t-shirt.
- Shauna: Jimbo doesn't care about me. He doesn't even notice my side braid.
- Bart Simpson: It looks cool, like two snakes trying to kill each other.
- Shauna: That's what I was going for. For a second grader, you're pretty sharp.
- Bart Simpson: Actually, I'm fourth grade, but I read at a second grade level. They say I might have problems.
- Bart Simpson: [Jimbo holds him by the ankles] It's okay, dad. He's just putting the fear of God in me.
- Homer Simpson: Carry on.
- Jimbo Jones: You have a nice evening, sir.