- Jack Donaghy: It's a classic love story. Boy meets girl. Girl gets kidnapped by Asian dictator. Boy makes movie to get girl back. Girl's so grateful she does birthday things to boy. Boy falls asleep.
- Tracy Jordan: Don't do it, J-Mo. You don't want to mess with Weird Al.
- Jenna Maroney: Oh, please. I'm not afraid of anyone in show business. I turned down intercourse with Harvey Weinstein on no less than three occasions. Out of five.
- Lance Drake Mandrell: Hey. You have amazing skin.
- Cynthia Nixon: I'm married to a woman.
- Lance Drake Mandrell: I got four inches of steel that might change your mind.
- Jenna Maroney: Let me guess, you're all watching my triumph on Fallon last night?
- Liz Lemon: No. You gotta see this.
- [Shows Jenna an Al Yankovic video on her laptop]
- Jenna Maroney: Yancovic! He reversed the parody. He Normal Al'd us. I feel so...
- Tracy Jordan: Honored?