- June Colburn: [explaining that she and James's gay manager became friends] We meet for pedicures once a week now.
- Chloe: Oh, that's so sweet. Has his cycle linked up with yours too?
- June Colburn: See, that is why Luther doesn't like you, because you're so rude. Why would he do anything for you when you're such a bitch to him?
- Chloe: [sarcastic] Oh, I get it! So, if I'm nice to Luther, he'll give me access to James. June, that's the first helpful thing you've ever said to me.
- [June remembers earlier incident, Chloe didn't close the toilet door behind her]
- Chloe: So, if I close the bathroom door, then it is like a little sanctuary? June, that is the first helpful thing you've ever said to me.
- [but Chloe didn't care, June closed the door]
- June Colburn: [they find a message spelled out on the floor, with eggrolls] "KISS MY A," what does that mean?
- Luther Wilson: It means she ran out of eggrolls.
- [kicks Chloe's rude message aside]
- June Colburn: What was I thinking, trusting her? Of course she didn't wanna learn how to be friendly.
- [Luther shakes his head]
- June Colburn: How many times am I gonna be taken by that girl?
- Luther Wilson: It's like my mother always said: Never trust a tall white woman. Of course, my mother is shorter than me, so that's every white woman.
- Chloe: [in street] Okay, I'm back.
- [disapproving of woman June is chatting to about umbrella]
- Chloe: Bye, Murder She Wrote.
- [hustles June away]
- June Colburn: [to woman:] Stay dry.
- [to her demanding friend:]
- June Colburn: Chloe, what the hell...? Why can't you just be friendly?
- Chloe: Because friendly is a waste of time.
- [mimicking, ridiculing:]
- Chloe: "Hey, how are you, I'm great, how are you, I'm great," back and forth until you die.
- June Colburn: Friendly is not a waste of time. Friendly has gotten me 700 friends on Facebook, one in each of the fifty states, three in Guam. I always know what is going on in Guam.
- Chloe: Please. Those people are all fake.
- June Colburn: [first lines, as Chloe seems to be doing handicraft] What are you doing?
- Chloe: Mother's Day card. I like to make my own. Tell her how I really feel.
- [what she has done so far, reads: Dear Mom, Stop...]
- James Van Der Beek: [entering, really peeved] Well, Dean Cain's a fricking hero. It's all over the Internet.
- [takes command of Chloe's laptop]
- James Van Der Beek: A mobile grooming van caught on fire, and Dean saved every single dog inside.
- [flips on the images]
- Chloe: [as if offended] Even the poodles?
- James Van Der Beek: Yeah. What an attention-whore.
- June Colburn: [looking at screen] Oh no! There's a dead body underneath that tarp!
- [on-screen, dogs yap, young woman goes "Dean Cain!"]
- June Colburn: Oh, it's just puppies! Ooooh!
- James Van Der Beek: First, he's Superman on TV. Now, he's Superman in real life. How am I supposed to compete with that on Dancing With The Stars?
- [slams laptop shut]