Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 (TV Series)

The Scarlet Neighbor... (2013)

James Van Der Beek: James Van Der Beek

Quotes 

• June Colburn : [arriving home, interrupting murmuring love-play]  I'm going to bed. Could you at least hold off on the sex noises until I get my earplugs in?

  Chloe : [coming up for air from lover's embrace]  Oh! You can't go in your room!

  James Van Der Beek : [obviously having come from June's room, with classy dark-haired lady friend in tow]  No, it's all good. We're done.

  June Colburn : What? In my room?

  James Van Der Beek : Good night out.

  [to June:] 

  James Van Der Beek : Oh, FYI, don't wear your pyjama pants for a while.

• James Van Der Beek : Okay, Chloe, enough of this nonsense. Luther is not working out as my wing-man.

  Luther Wilson : [flashback, approaching ripe-for-the-plucking young lady at bar on James' behalf]  Hey, girl.

  [sidling up] 

  Luther Wilson : You like my friend over there? James Van Der Beek.

  [amicably, campy] 

  Luther Wilson : He likes you too.

  [harsh:] 

  Luther Wilson : But I don't. He is a guest judge on Project Runway in the morning.

  [fake grin, for James' sake] 

  Luther Wilson : He needs his beauty sleep, or his face will be big as a plate.

  [fooled James beams from across room] 

  Luther Wilson : So get your purse,

  [hands it to her] 

  Luther Wilson : and click-clack on out of here.

  [she is reluctant] 

  Luther Wilson : Click-clack, click-clack!

  [she obeys reluctantly, James watching dumbfounded, Luther shrugging]