Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 (TV Series)

Mean Girls... (2013)

Dreama Walker: June Colburn

Quotes 

• June Colburn : Would you like to hang out today?

  Chloe : I feel like a pig crapped inside my head.

  [rising from the couch, almost vampire-like] 

  Chloe : I feel like a pig ate Indian food and squatted down.

  June Colburn : [surprised]  Oh. There's a man underneath you.

  [bemused] 

  June Colburn : Hello.

  Chloe : Don't wake him. I took all his life-force last night.

• June Colburn : You can't be rude to my friends!

  Chloe : Oh, come on, June, these girls are a joke, you can't be serious.

  June Colburn : Okay, maybe they're not perfect. But you do not want to be my friend, and they want to be my friend, and I want to drink cappuccinos on the sidewalk.

  Chloe : Why do you want to be their friend? They're catty, obnoxious and irritating, like all girls.

  June Colburn : [inwardly scoffing]  All girls... What do you really mean?

  Chloe : I mean, those girls are exactly the reason why I don't hang out with girls. They're competitive, they back-stab, and they post group pictures of themselves on FaceBook so they can show the world what they look like in a bikini.

  June Colburn : [defensive]  That was a tankini, and I was tagged in that photo.

  Chloe : Look, I just prefer to hang out with dudes, they say what they mean, they like to have fun, and in a pinch, they have a penis.

  [takes a hearty swig from the beer bottle as June looks on astounded] 

• Stephanie : You got us pegged, don't you? You think that by acting tough and by rejecting us before we reject you, you can protect yourself. You're just scared that somebody's going to see the real you and find out you're not as interesting as you think you are.

  Chloe : [retaliating]  Well, you're not as skinny as you think you are.

  Stephanie : Shouldn't you be dancing in a glass booth somewhere?

  Chloe : No, your Mom took my shift.

  Stephanie : [off-balanced]  My Mom passed away two years ago.

  Chloe : Well, you look like Donald Sutherland.

  [as this hits home] 

  Chloe : That's right, there's only room for one bitch in Apartment 23.

  [raises her eyebrows in victory] 

  June Colburn : [trying to defuse the situation]  Did you guys try these nachos? They are yummo! I love 'em!

  [makes appreciative sounds] 

  Stephanie : Okay! I'm out of here! June, i'll pick you up tomorrow for Pilates. Ee can discuss finding you another roommate who isn't a total psycho.

  [leaves in a huff] 

  June Colburn : [still trying to salvage the conversation]  So, who has thoughts on Anne Hathaway?