OMG: Oh My God! (2012)

Paresh Rawal: Kanji Lalji Mehta

Photos 

Quotes 

• Krishna Vasudev Yadav : [dropping Kanji off at a street corner]  Go straight then left, then right, then left, and your house will be next.

  Kanji Lalji Mehta : If you can drop me here then you can drop me at my house.

  Krishna Vasudev Yadav : My job is to show the way. It's your job to find destiny.

• Kanji Lalji Mehta : Where there is religion, there is no space for truth... and where there is truth, there is no need for religion.

• Krishna Vasudev Yadav : Hello.

  Kanji Lalji Mehta : Who is it?

  Krishna Vasudev Yadav : God.

  Kanji Lalji Mehta : What?

  Krishna Vasudev Yadav : If you were Muslim, I'd be your messenger. if you would be Christian, then Jesus. You are a Hindu. That's why Krishna.

• Jigna : To pay for that sin, she is fasting today.

  Kanji Lalji Mehta : Tell me one thing. How can MY sins be forgiven if she fasts?

• Kanji Lalji Mehta : Why do spirits become restless after death? When a person dies, he gets freedom. Then, why does he become restless?

  Mahadev : It's not like that. What if someone's last wish remains unfulfilled?

  Kanji Lalji Mehta : Yes. Then the son will fulfill it.

• [Krishna now legally owns Kanji's house] 

  Kanji Lalji Mehta : What is this? How could he sell my house? I was about to pay him.

  Krishna Vasudev Yadav : But I've already paid him.

  Kanji Lalji Mehta : It's not possible! This is MY house!

  Krishna Vasudev Yadav : Relax. Chill, chill. When you get the "act of God" money, to the God you can pay back and I'll go from here. By the way, I'll leave as soon as my project is over.

• Kanji Lalji Mehta : God came to mess with me in a tuxedo.

• Hanif Bhai : [after Paresh Rawal presents his case before him having been rejected by all attorneys]  During the riots of 1992, I successfully defended 3 innocent Hindus falsely accused of arson and property damage. The result, people from my community made a cripple out of me.

  Hanif's Daughter : [after looking at Paresh Rawal's shocked reaction]  Abbu can't walk anymore.

  Hanif Bhai : And here you are asking me to legally fight against the entity which has created your community ?

  Kanji Lalji Mehta : Hanif Bhai, just think of it as I am caught between the devil and the deep blue sea.

  Hanif Bhai : You're in a very troublesome situation as I can see. Fine, I'll take up your case.

  Kanji Lalji Mehta : But is it possible ?

  Hanif Bhai : Of course it is. There's a full fledged provision in our judicial setup for this purpose as well. Only hurdle is, I won't be able to come to court to represent your plea. However, I will send with you all the details you'd need to present before the judge and defendant.

  Kanji Lalji Mehta : Fine, I am ready.

  [Curious] 

  Kanji Lalji Mehta : Hanif Bhai, do you believe in Allah ?

  Hanif Bhai : Of course I do. To be very honest, God and Allah, these are all one and the same. Only difference is, some plead to them while some plead for them.

  Kanji Lalji Mehta : So indirectly, am I not filing a case against Allah too ?

  Hanif Bhai : Not at all Kanji. You're merely putting up your question before the almighty that why only you were the one to suffer. And it's your right. Now, where do I need to send this application file, do you know the address of the defendant ?

  Kanji Lalji Mehta : To be honest, I don't.

  Hanif Bhai : That's great. Coz in such a situation, the judge would simply overrule your plea without a second thought.

  Kanji Lalji Mehta : No Hanif Bhai, I meant to say I don't know where God exactly resides, but I do know where their representatives can be found and addressed.

  Hanif Bhai : [Smiling]  Very well, let's get started.

• Sardesai : [During the court session]  Mr. Mehta, your fight is against God as you're saying. So why don't you deal directly with him ? Why are you indulging the monks and saints ?

  Kanji Lalji Mehta : [Responding to Mahesh Manjrekar]  Advocate Sir, which company supplies electricity to your household ?

  Sardesai : [Confused]  Reliance Power, why ?

  Kanji Lalji Mehta : So in case if ever there's a prolonged power cut in your house, you'd go to the nearest office of Reliance Power coz you can't call Anil Ambani and plead that Anil Bhai please get my electricity back. Correct ?

  Sardesai : [Furious]  You mean to say these people here are branch officers of God ?

  Kanji Lalji Mehta : [Humorously]  When did I say so. Officers are educated people, these guys are

  [turns to Govind Namdeo in the witness box] 

  Kanji Lalji Mehta : SALESMEN of Gods. Salespersons.

  [Entire courtroom laughs] 

• Krishna Vasudev Yadav : [Entering the ICU and responding to Paresh Rawal's confusion]  Where am I, what just happened ?

  [Smiling] 

  Krishna Vasudev Yadav : You're in the ICU right now.

  Kanji Lalji Mehta : [In a garbled voice]  So how did you get in ?

  Krishna Vasudev Yadav : Don't worry, I can be anywhere I want. Besides, I've come to fix you up.

  Kanji Lalji Mehta : [In sarcastic humour]  So you're a doctor as well ?

  Krishna Vasudev Yadav : I am all in one Kanji.

  Kanji Lalji Mehta : How did I get here ?

  Krishna Vasudev Yadav : You hurled accusations at God from the bottom of your heart, right. But which side is heart on ? Your left. So, God paralyzed the left half of your body.