Photos
Quotes
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Professor Shelly Oberon : Oh my God, this is so cool! Martha, come look at my penis!
Ruby Roundhouse : No, thanks!
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[Martha has become Ruby Roundhouse and an insect tried to bite her on her exposed stomach]
Ruby Roundhouse : Why am I wearing this outfit in a jungle? Tiny, little shorts and a leather halter top. I mean, what is this?
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Professor Shelly Oberon : Seriously, I can't even open my mouth around you. You don't even know me, but you, like, decided you hate me.
Ruby Roundhouse : Look, I just think you live in, like, the "hot popular girl" bubble, you know, where everybody either treats you like a princess or like an object. Maybe it makes you a little self-absorbed or something?
Professor Shelly Oberon : That's fair. But do you think that maybe the reason why you are so judgy is because you are like afraid that people are not gonna like you, so you've decided not to like them first? I'm just saying, you're a babe, go with it.
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Professor Shelly Oberon : [Bethany as Prof. Shelly Oberon is about to pee as a male for the first time] So how do we do this?
Moose Finbar : Easy. You just - you unzip, take it out, fire away.
Dr. Smolder Bravestone : Remember to aim. It's very important.
Professor Shelly Oberon : [Gasping] Oh my God, you guys, there's like literally a penis attached to my body right now. Martha, come look at my penis!
Ruby Roundhouse : No, thanks!
Moose Finbar : Is this the first that you've seen it?
Professor Shelly Oberon : Yes, I didn't wanna look.
Moose Finbar : I looked at mine within the first 20 seconds of getting here. I'm happy to report that I was able to bring one thing from the outside world.
Professor Shelly Oberon : [Bethany tried to take a peek at Finbar' peeing]
Moose Finbar : What? Are you...? What are you doing? Are you looking?
Professor Shelly Oberon : Sorry.
Moose Finbar : You don't look over here!
Dr. Smolder Bravestone : Yeah, you never look. It's a thing.
Professor Shelly Oberon : [Unzipping his pants] Okay, good boy. We're gonna take this nice and slow, and nobody's gonna get hurt. Now what?
Moose Finbar : Now blast off!
Dr. Smolder Bravestone : And aim, don't forget to aim.
Moose Finbar : What is with you and aiming? What happened to you?
Dr. Smolder Bravestone : Can we not talk about this in mixed company?
Professor Shelly Oberon : [Peeing] Wow, wow, WOW! Oh, this is so much easier!
Moose Finbar : [Chuckles] It's cool, right?
Professor Shelly Oberon : Yeah, because you have, like, a handle. The fact that I'm not Instagramming this right now is insane.
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Moose Finbar : [after taking a bite of a cake] Wait, what - what is this?
Bread Vendor : That's my famous pound cake.
Ruby Roundhouse : Cake? Isn't that your weakness?
Moose Finbar : Bethany, you said this was bread!
Professor Shelly Oberon : I guess it's been so long, I forget how it tastes like...
Moose Finbar : How do you forget what...
[looking at Ruby Roundhouse]
Moose Finbar : What is happening? Something happens to me?
Ruby Roundhouse : No.
Moose Finbar : Am I... am I shaking?
Ruby Roundhouse : No.
Moose Finbar : Am I breaking out?
Ruby Roundhouse : No.
Moose Finbar : Am I still black?
Ruby Roundhouse : Yes.
Moose Finbar : Okay. Okay, right? We're fine. Everything is fine. Yeah... no, no, no, it's okay. It probably just meant that I love cake that I couldn't resist it. Hey, it's all good...
[Finbar suddenly explodes in a burst of flame]
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Dr. Smolder Bravestone : I want to stay with you, like this.
Ruby Roundhouse : Then let's be like this... every day. Just come home.
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Ruby Roundhouse : [after watching Bravestone was able to display his list of strengths and weaknesses] How'd you do that? That - that list?
Dr. Smolder Bravestone : Well, I just - I think I just pressed my... my enormous left pec.
Moose Finbar : [Approaching Ruby] It's like the boob area. Let me show you...
[extending his hand to touch Ruby's chest]
Ruby Roundhouse : [Slapping away Finbar's hand] Get the hell away from me!
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Ruby Roundhouse : [whispering to herself] You are the badass.
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Ruby Roundhouse : Could I borrow your jacket? I feel like I'm wearing a bikini.
Professor Shelly Oberon : I once wore a bikini to school.
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Ruby Roundhouse , Dr. Smolder Bravestone , Moose Finbar , Professor Shelly Oberon , Alex : [as Bravestone places the Jaguar's Eye onto the statue] JUMANJI!
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[from trailer]
Ruby Roundhouse : Guys, how are we gonna get home?