- Sterling Archer: I'm sorry!
- Pam Poovey: For what? Space-blastering me in the frickin' tits? Or tricking me into that fart-locker to get blasted into outer goddamn space on the off chance you might wanna bang me?
- Sterling Archer: Both I guess. Look...
- Pam Poovey: After you blew me off for Katya the big-titted cyborg! Little Miss, uh...
- Sterling Archer: R2-double-D2?
- Pam Poovey: [chuckles] Nice.
- Commander Tony Drake: Is mutiny funny to you, Mr. Archer?
- Sterling Archer: I don't know. Maybe a mutiny of clowns.
- Commander Tony Drake: I want to brief you all on what to expect when we dock with Horizon.
- Lana Kane: Uh, can we expect a pharmacy?
- Sterling Archer: Lana, it's not a strip mall. Although, I assume there's a bar.
- Commander Tony Drake: A bar?
- Sterling Archer: Or whatever, cantina?
- Sterling Archer: Would you say we'd be venturing into a zone of danger?
- Commander Tony Drake: Well, yes. Obviously.
- Sterling Archer: No, but I mean how would you phrase that?
- Commander Tony Drake: The zone will be one of danger?
- Sterling Archer: No, I mean. Not if you'd say the thing that. Forget it. Nevermind.
- Sterling Archer: Astronaut training sucks complete ass. Literally! What's the deal with all the enemas?
- Doctor Krieger: Uhh.
- Sterling Archer: And why do you need so much blood? And wait, now that I think about it...
- Commander Tony Drake: Why is this man in the restricted area?
- Doctor Krieger: Who, him?
- Commander Tony Drake: You.
- Sterling Archer: What? Krieger!
- Doctor Krieger: Uhh, smoke bomb!
- Commander Tony Drake: And why aren't you with the other trainees?
- Sterling Archer: I was told I had to undergo a bunch of extremely invasive medical tests.
- Commander Tony Drake: Well, normally you would but by our doctors. But since you're on such an accelerated training schedule...
- Sterling Archer: Six enemas is a luxury we can ill-afford. Got it.
- Malory Archer: Six?
- Sterling Archer: Or, who knows. He put me under. Maybe twelve.
- Commander Tony Drake: What the hell is going on here?
- Sterling Archer: Uh, an electrical fire in the simulator. And knowing that my colleague's life was in danger, I...
- Commander Tony Drake: Acted without thinking.
- Lana Kane: As always.
- Sterling Archer: Not always...
- Commander Tony Drake: Well, thank God you did.
- Sterling Archer: ...But almost always!
- Commander Tony Drake: [wounded] The bridge... We have to make it... to the...
- Sterling Archer: The bridge, yes, I heard you. So unless we're going the wrong way...
- Commander Tony Drake: Uh, no. That's it right there.
- Sterling Archer: Then shut up! God.
- Commander Tony Drake: Okay. Archer.
- Sterling Archer: Oh, I'm sorry, are you talking to me? Or to her, who... Why is she here?
- Malory Archer: Because Tony invited me.
- Sterling Archer: Tony? What, are you trying to get my mother into the Million-Mile High Club?
- Commander Tony Drake: No! We can't jeopardize the women.
- Lana Kane: Cough?
- Malory Archer: Well, not you.
- Sterling Archer: [fires grenade launcher] Whoo!
- Lana Kane, Cyril Figgis, Ray Gillette: Archer?
- Sterling Archer: Hold on.
- [grenade goes off]
- Sterling Archer: Yes, Archer, duh. And if you're done doing each other's hair, let's...
- Commander Tony Drake: ...retake the ship!
- [runs off]
- Sterling Archer: Or just run around interrupting people.