Small Town Security (2012–2014) User Reviews

Why AMC? Just Why?

[ammaselephant · 1/10 · 17 July 2012]

You know one of those scenarios where a TV channel forces you into watching their least popular TV show, or an incoming TV show that they knew was gonna bomb, by tempting you into seeing a preview of said franchise during the commercial breaks? This was one of them.

As a big fan of Breaking Bad and The Walking Dead, I feel somewhat insulted, manipulated and devalued. For I never thought AMC would stoop to such a level and actual have us watch through a whole episode of THIS, just to see a thirty second preview for next week's episode of Breaking Bad, and a four minute trailer for Walking Dead season 3 that has already been released.

If AMC ever does anything like this again, I won't even know if a single preview for Breaking Bad OR Walking Dead will even be worth it, for this stereotypical Reno 911 take on of a TV show has desensitized me to distrust AMC. I don't even LIVE in Georgia, and yet even I felt somewhat offended by the actions of these so called characters. The only good thing about this show was the dog, and when the show went to commercial, I never thought I'd be so glad to see commercial breaks in my entire life!

If you were sapped into watching this show like I have, I feel your pain, and I'm pretty sure everyone else who has come to trust AMC feels the same.

And Chief, wipe off all of that damn makeup, you look like a drag queen, except drag queens have better taste and are actually fun to watch. And frankly, I'd rather watch any other reality TV series than to ever watch another single episode of THIS ever again.

1 out of 10 Stars. "Bad influence"

Love it!!

[lisajosephine · 18 September 2012]

What can I say? I'm hooked. At first I was a little disappointed, because I didn't "get it" and I was expecting more of a Reno 911 concept (one of my all time favs). But I gave it a chance, and glad I did. These people are very entertaining! I would love to just sit down,and hang out with them.. I actually love living vicariously through them!! Not only is this show funny, it's actually very heartwarming too. I really hope AMC brings it back next year- cause I'll be waiting!! I agree with one of the comments above, there will definitely be some sort of cult following. Very smart AMC, well done!! Love Breaking Bad as well.. only complaint...not enough episodes, and the wait for another season is ridiculously long!!!!!!!

The worst TV show ever!

[coolzeezee808 · 1/10 · 19 July 2012]

This is quite frankly the worst TV show I have ever seen... I watched 5mins of it after Breaking Bad and that was all I could stomach.... I can't believe AMC is promoting this garbage and truly offensive show depicting total trash! There is not a whole lot more that can be said other than I felt compelled to right a review because of how bad this show is... This motivated me to write my first time here because every time I look up a movie or person on here this offensive add pops up with that foul mouthed ugly woman doing this hideous dance with her obnoxious dog which appears to also be the logo of a company that I wouldn't hire to protect vagrants on the street... A 1 is not even close to the rating this show should have even 0 is too high....I still am in a horrified state of shock from just viewing this show for only 5 min...If it weren't for Breaking Bad or Walking dead I'd quit watching AMC....!

Gennius, genius, genius!!

[very-strange · 10/10 · 17 August 2012]

Oh my god, Small Town Security is my new favorite show. This is seriously the best reality show I've ever seen. At first, like Joel McHale, I thought it was the well acted mockumentary. When I realized it was real I couldn't believe it. Not only are the characters completely BIZARRE but the editing and production is incredible - I love the use of animation to provide background on their lives. I want to hang with the folks at JJK Security. Please don't listen to the idiots giving this show bad reviews - yes Joan is a crass manipulative nutcase, that's why she's brilliant! She eats peanut butter and cool whip in a cup, reads pornos and forces her employee to massage her and clean her clothes. What more do you people want? I am especially fascinated by the INSANE relationship between Joan and Dennis, the transgender guard who seems to think he's Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry. If you are NOT an idiot who doesn't understand that good characters are not the same as good people, then you will LOVE this show. Highly recommended for anyone with a sense of irony, especially those of the gay persuasion.

OBSESSED AMC... more, more, more!

This show sucked!!

[furb_2500 · 1/10 · 17 July 2012]

What a waste of valuable resources!! We only watched it to see "The Walking Dead" preview and don't plan on watching it again. We thought that Joan looked high, and her husband has a horrible hair piece, however THAT made us laugh. I won't spoil the end, but if there was anything remotely, and I do mean remotely in the absolute smallest sense of the word, it was the ending.

It was very disappointing that AMC forced you to go through the torture of watching such ridiculousness in order to catch a glimpse of such an AWESOME show as "The Walking Dead". I certainly hope "Small Town Security" doesn't last very long...I think I would rather have seen that comic book show (which was also ridiculous) but far exceeded "Small Town Security" in my opinion.

Bet show on T.V.

[dean_af · 9/10 · 27 August 2012]

A more accurate depiction of what America really is. Pee your pants funny. I had to use "Pee". This is an American site and EVERYTHING is censored. lol I can imagine the "Dennis" character will put off a lot of Americans. The might worry they might catch something. (roll eyes). Hopefully they keep this show on. If Jersey shore can stay on, how can this fail? Old people peeing themselves, transformers, rubes, What more can you ask for? Have an open mind!!! There are a lot of shows out there. This show won't go down in history as anything memorable or influential but it's fun and harmless. Give it a chance. What's the worst that can happen?

haters

[dianaofjersey · 7/10 · 27 August 2012]

The individuals who are rating this show "1 star" and calling it "trash" really need to get off their high horse and get over their snobbery. It's a funny show, worth watching for laughs and is somewhat educational as it gives us a glimpse into the lives of these interestingly weird people. Not everything has to be as serious as Mad Men or Breaking Bad. AMC could use a little comedy in their lineup, as it will appeal to a broader audience. If you like weird reality shows, then give it a chance. You will be surprised just how entertaining it is. I just wish they'd bring it back for more seasons. AMC would do good with more weird shows like this.

Truly horrible

[detcs · 1/10 · 22 July 2012]

30 minutes of my life I will never get back.

This is easily one of the dumbest shows I have ever seen. Apparently the characters are real people. I fear for our children's future.

It makes Jersey Shore look like Shakespeare.

It's not even so bad it's good, it's just plain bad.

If anyone is considering watching this show, I would advise you to spend the time banging your head against a brick wall instead.

Or, if you are looking for an insightful look into how 2 single females are coping with the challenges of modern society, watch the latest installment of Jwoww and Snooki.

Stupid Ignorant and Trashy! I'm Referring to the Low Rating Reviewers

[pattonfever · 10/10 · 11 July 2013]

If you read the negative reviews not 1 gave the show more than a few minutes or past 1 episode. Some reference Reno 911. No one can judge what a show is going to be after 1 episode. The first episode of The Wire doesn't do justice to what watching the entire series becomes. The point is if you stayed with it through the first season you would have found out what a truly touching show this is. You wish the best for everyone involved in the show, and genuinely grow to care for them. The morons that did not give the show the chance it deserved that threaten to quit watching AMC, I say good. AMC is the only non premium channel making television as great as the premium channels are. No other network comes close. I also find it funny they state only two shows on AMC. The Walking Dead and Breaking Bad. The don't even mention Mad Men or The Killing. Arguably the two better shows. So you go to the other networks, and have fun watching poor mans versions of premium cable television. Leave the grade A stuff for the people that are able to comprehend intelligent material.

Where in God's name did they find these people?

[frankfob · 1/10 · 28 July 2012]

At first I thought this thing was, like "Reno 9-1-1", a parody of the brainless, low-rent, patently phony garbage that has come to be known as "reality" TV, as personified by the Kardashians, "Lizard Lick Towing" and other such abominations. However, after watching it for several painful minutes I realized that, unfortunately, these people actually ARE real (for lack of a better word). This jaw-droppingly, stomach-turningly, embarrassingly, hideously awful train wreck of a show consists of a tenth-rate "security" company--I wouldn't trust these people to guard roadkill--headed by Joan, a dull-witted, cigar-smoking, foul-mouthed gargoyle who has an utterly unjustified sense of her own importance who shuffles around the office issuing orders, insulting employees and doing nothing (other than making a complete fool of herself on a local cable-access TV show). Her slack-jawed husband--who proudly wears the most godawful toupee in recorded history, although he seems to be under the impression that no one notices it--is completely cowed by her and can't wait to get out of the house, but is incapable of drumming up any new business. Her "lieutenant" is a female-to-male transsexual who, sadly, thinks he's a combination of Rambo and Conan the Barbarian but comes across more of a combination of Truman Capote and RuPaul. As if he doesn't have enough problems, he also--for some ungodly reason--has a crush on Joan. To top things off, there's a skinny, ugly, stupid, constantly yapping Chihuahua who, if anything, is the perfect mascot for this show. I don't know what rock the producers kicked over to find this collection of bizarros and losers, but if you can sit through the entire 30 minutes of this disaster, you're a better man than I am Gunga Din.

This rancid, steaming pile of offal is, without exaggeration, the worst show ever shown on television on any network, at any time, in any country. It's just not physically possible that there has ever been a show, is now a show or ever will be a show worse than this one is. Ever.

Absolutely Awful. Trash. Makes my eyes hurt.

[spyydert · 1/10 · 17 August 2012]

I have never felt compelled to actually write a review but my distaste for this show motivated me to do so. After seeing my favorite network (History Channel) ruined by garbage aka "reality TV" shows, I began to feel a sinking feeling when I saw the previews for "Small Town Security. I really dreaded a reality show and the dark specter of an entire network reality takeover (like History Channel). I felt AMC was at least safe from the reality TV curse, after all, AMC was the reason I still had cable. Knowing they're capable of producing such awesome shows as Mad Men, Breaking Bad, the Walking Dead, Hell on Wheels, etc I decided to give it a try. I made it about 15 minutes into an episode before I realized that I would actually rather watch commercials than this garbage. The dialog is crude. The characters have zero interesting stories to tell. This is the worst of the worst, when it comes to reality TV. There is no purpose to this program. Typically with reality programming, I see something is being contested, or there is a story being told, or the characters are moving towards a goal. None of this is true with this show. It's simply several awful looking people doing mundane, pointless activities with profanity laced conversation in between. There is zero enjoyment in this show. Whoever is responsible for this at AMC needs to be fired. In no way does this fit in with their reputation or any of their programming. In reading the other comments here, it appears I am not alone in my distaste. To add insult to injury, this stupid program screwed up my Sunday night TV schedule. If this makes a second season, I'm starting a petition.

small town sec Blows

[rallysport1970 · 1/10 · 2 September 2012]

This show sucks so bad. I cant believe its on TV. I have now watched two episodes and still cant figure out what the hell it's about.

This show is so boring and the people on it are complete idiot hicks. And this is coming from a small town hick so i know what im talking about. I hope this show is taken off the air soon.

please don't watch it so itgoes off the air!

I have never signed up before to IMDb. i only signed up to say how bad this show sucks. This show sucks sucks sucks! did i mention the show sucks?

i hate this show so much, my kids will hate it too.

It's Fun. It's Funny. I'm anxious for Season 2!

[RamonaBlu · 9/10 · 12 February 2013]

Like most initial viewers of the trailers that popped up while anticipating Breaking Bad pre-Season 5, I was sure this was a heavily pre-scripted attempt to scam viewers of it's reality-ness. I hope they don't change the formula of basically showing the cast's generally boring daily life; it's a GEM! They are interesting and it's a treat to be allowed to listen in to.... *De-hording adventures... *Nightly patrol with two ladies who have a deep love for each other... *Recruit training - from guns to clandestine trailing... *Seriously old school cable shows... *Bodily functions we all have...

I never write on this site (which is obvious), I just thought the overpowering negative reviews (so freaking negative - hateful!) were ridiculous and not representative of the core audience of this cool little show. Most of us prefer relaxin' back with a beer, watching something on TV, and not spending so much precious lazy-time writing about how much we hate something.

I had high hopes

[charliechann · 3/10 · 28 May 2019]

Being from GA and one of my first jobs was a Peace Officer (legal name for corrections officer at med/max prison) I was happy and hopeful because we dont get movies filmed here often. Some of the characters are likeable but Joan just makes me feel depressed. She must be on extremely potent meds because she even talks with her eyes closed and looks like she did makeup with her eyes closed. I have the same disease she has and it's a struggle at times but she gets waited on hand and foot and treats the lieutenant like trash controlling her hubby and Lt. I almost fell out of my chair when I seen how pretty she was in movies and such in the 60s because I couldn't believe it.

Absolutely fell in love with this show

[shannonpendergrass · 10/10 · 30 August 2018]

Found it on Amazon Prime. I'm not a big fan of reality tv normally, but I am so glad I found this one.

If Tiger King and Mama June banged . . .

[jimsnider-89192 · 1/10 · 16 January 2022]

This show is the slack jawed, mouth breathing result of a drunken, stinky orgy between the creators of Tiger King and Honey Boo Boo while the producers of Dog the Bounty Hunter stood by cheering from the sidelines.

amazing show & amazing people !!!

[barikyle · 10/10 · 3 August 2013]

THIS is what reality shows SHOULD be like. You can't help but adore every single cast member from the very first episode. Not to mention almost every single episode has made me laugh & cry - that's pretty damn impressive for under 30 minutes of reality TV a week. To already have been up for an award should speak volumes for Small Town Security !!! If possible start from the very first episode because it really does end up blowing your mind. And for anyone who claims this show is "boring" I have no idea what type of shows you are used to but this show is about getting to know the very interesting "characters" that prove truth is stranger than fiction.

Better than any scripted comedy!

[barrywilliams993 · 10/10 · 28 June 2013]

I guess that people don't appreciate the ability to vicariously step into the lives of other real people. The characters are not caricatures; they are real in every sense of the word.

I hope it doesn't become over-produced like Storage Wars, Pawn Stars and Hardcore Pawn. They all started out good but have morphed into a strange mix of reality and obviously scripted set ups. I'll continue to watch them for now but I can't say for how long.

The real lives of the JKK crew are writ large on the screen. The transition of Denise to Dennis is poignant on a human level regardless of what you might think about the subject of gender identity disorders. Dennis comes across as an individual that is truly tortured by his female body.

Dennis' unhappiness bleeds through when the JJK crew cleans up his little apartment in the JKK headquarters building while he goes to Atlanta for surgery to start his transition to a male body. The neglect of his surroundings is evidence of the despair of a life he cannot love.

The Captain and his love for his old cat is truly touching and you could see the reality of his loss when he had to have him put down. He says he doesn't think a new cat would help with his emotions . . . two days later he has TWO new cats.

In one episode, he gets tangled with wasabi paste while trying sushi. I did the same thing: smearing the green stuff on my California Roll like I was putting peanut butter on bread. He chokes and chokes barely eeking out, "I'm OK", just in time to stop Joan from dialing 911.

Joan is a female curmudgeon. She is both crude and prude: she uses coarse language and euphemisms depending on the setting and subject.

In one episode, she is telling the crew about her stomach virus. She tells of not being able to sit on the toilet for wanting to throw up so she goes to the office to lie down.

While in repose, she "poops" her pants. Captain Irwin (her husband) opines that he'd rather poop in the toilet and throw up on the floor to which Joan says, "Maybe it was the only way I could make poop." In most situations she is regularly bleeped. She is an anachronism to be sure. And, she is unintentionally hilarious; I nearly pooped myself I was laughing so hard.

It is unfortunate that many people don't get this slice-of-life for what it is: the human condition in its grittiest coarseness and is finest tenderness. The show is fast-paced and well-shot and presents the unvarnished truth about humankind: we are all flawed but interesting nonetheless.

I hope A and E sticks with it despite the "critics" here on IMDb and I would guess other review sites. Read the interview with Joan on Huff Post to get a better understanding of just who she is: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/greg-archer/small-town-security- joan_b_3232554.html

The show is good! Just watch it!

Sincere and captivating

[wheremyhustlasat · 10/10 · 13 September 2012]

Some people love the Kardashians; some people love Twin Peaks. If you are among the latter, Small Town Security is a bizarre and intriguing onion that gets more fantastic under each layer. Unlike so many overproduced reality shows, Small Town Security allows its fascinating cast to just be themselves. It's so rare to see sincerity in television, and this drips with it. Kudos to AMC for taking a risk and trying something outside the box.

This show will develop a gigantic cult following for those who can appreciate it. And those who cannot will end up hating because of it's unfamiliarity.

Damn funny!

[wctv · 10/10 · 11 August 2012]

For me, it's a 10. After the most excellent "Breaking Bad" which makes the most of pathos with movie quality film making, sheer tackiness is just plain funny. It reminds me of "Polyester." Lighten up, laughter is great medicine! This show is the closest thing to "reality" TV that I have ever seen on the tube. The acting and editing are first rate. The subject matter, well, just laugh! Sheer entertainment for the fun of it is a worthy goal and this 30 minutes will give me something to talk about with my tube addicted friends. I don't watch much TV but I'm happy to have this show to add to my list of watchers. Can you believe there is character development going on? Let's hope security companies don't get any tips from this one.

Have been a fan since the first episode..

[majictiger3-1 · 10/10 · 3 August 2013]

I was hooked from the very first episode!.....Not only is STS a fresh and very funny show, it's for real! These folks have put their lives out for all of us to become a part of each week. The share the most intimate secrets of their lives with us and for that alone I give them a lot of credit. Watching a "Reality Show" is one thing but sometimes you get the feeling that what you are watching is staged. Never during any of the episodes of STS do you get the feeling that these folks are putting on a show for all of us to watch....this is their lives and this is the real deal. The make you feel as if you are part of their family and bring you right into that crazy office that has more heart in it than most folks have in their own families...and after enjoying this show for two seasons now....I cannot wait to see what's in store for STS in season three!!!

surprising and special

[magicbootsandmccoy · 10/10 · 3 August 2013]

From the day the ads first started airing for smts during the walking dead on AMC, walking dead fans started to trash it. Once you get into the first episode you understand why this show is important. Only two seasons in and i can't get enough. The overall story line in important and the 'characters' on the show are voices that break through stereotypes. Yes they fart and laugh all the time. i know you do too.

Joan never the victim, fighting, No DANCING through the pain and difficulty Parkinsons creates. Dennis not only transitioning legally but also televised in what seems to be a small town who embraces him. Irwin with his love of animals and battling through his mess and trying to find the right hair colour.

It's easy to presume the southern bible belt America is easy to laugh at, but JJK breaks stereotypes. JJK invites you into their lives and are as farty and silly as they are as serious

I love this show!

[Fourth_Pentacle_Venus · 10/10 · 27 May 2013]

I don't care what anyone says, I find this show entertaining and funny. I have been going through a lot and have been grieving from a traumatic death and came across this show. It is the only one that has brought a smile to my face and made me laugh! Yes I know this show is quirky, odd, and at times stupid but I like it, I think the way the show is edited and produced(especially these new episodes) make it very entertaining. The things they come up with are very funny. I love these people!

I tried to find their stuff on eBay (from the last episode I saw) and now noticed that the items are in the hundreds! I hope AMC does not cancel this show and keeps it going for some time to come. Thank you AMC!!

Great show receives unnecessary hate

[LoloManolo · 10/10 · 1 August 2012]

This is the most genuine reality show on television today. Small Town Security features five unique individuals that work for a real life security company in Georgia. These people have chosen to allow viewers into their lives to witness how they interact with each other and give us a window into their personal lives.

Like characters out of a Christopher Guest or Coen Brothers film, these five employees of JJK Security & Investigations have the typical "small town persona" with the exception of Chief Joan Koplan – a brassy, no-nonsense woman with an eye for Hollywood. She doesn't seem to fit into her surroundings but fits in perfectly with her co-workers, including her husband Captain Irwin Koplan. Captain is a "good ol' boy" type with a good heart and is the face of the business. You also have Christa Stephens, the adorably "ditzy" secretary and licensed cosmetologist; Brian Taylor, the straight-laced office manager and company detective; and Lieutenant Dennis Croft, a dedicated employee and second-in-command in the office. Oh, I can't forget Lambchop – Chief's little old dog. What a cutie! During the show's three episodes we've seen the real side of hoarding, Parkinson's disease, and living as a transgendered person. (They've even discussed the reincarnation of an Egyptian princess!) It's obvious why AMC thought that these people would make great television: the show is honest, intense and really funny. What I don't understand is all the hate. These are REAL people. They have opened their lives to us. They are dealing with real problems in front of the camera. I don't understand why people think it's a "fake" show because you can't get more real than this.

Also, the show has had THREE episodes. How about letting a TV show evolve, for once. Let's not rip it apart until the season wraps and then we can decide whether or not to tune in for season two. If you don't like it, don't watch it. It's OK to comment and disagree, but remember – these people actually exist. Let's not tear their personalities to shreds. After all, John Waters and Wes Anderson made their millions by hiring actors to portray people exactly like the cast of Small Town Security. All AMC did was stick a camera in their office.

To the cast of Small Town Security, I would say: "Let the haters be your motivators. Continue to be yourselves and have fun with your new found fame. Enjoy your fans and ignore the naysayers. If your show is a success, I won't be surprised. However, if the show (for some odd reason) only lasts one season, it was my pleasure to have tuned in."

Most enjoyable show on television...hands down!

[godfreykeegan · 10/10 · 21 July 2013]

Whether or not you like this show truly defines who you are as a person. If you find yourself bored for one second during this show, you're taking life too seriously. The show is summed up in the opening intro where a fly is buzzing around Joan, and she gears herself up to take a position of aggression in preparation to swat this fly. It's just a small shift of the arms and an irritated gaze upwards, but the body language says so much. Another scene in which Joan wets herself as a result of several "Chainsaw Massacre" events consecutively occurring is one of the funniest scenes I've ever witnessed on TV. Thank you AMC...please do not ever cancel this show. It can't be that expensive.