The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Friendship Contraction (2012)

Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter

Photos 

Quotes 

• Penny : I got some candles in my apartment.

  Sheldon Cooper : Candles, during a blackout! Are you mad! That's a fire hazard. No, Pasadena Water & Power recommends the far safer glow stick.

  Leonard Hofstadter : You call that a glow stick?

  [Pulls out a glowing lightsaber replica] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : That is a glow stick.

• Penny : Oh, good, your power's out too.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Why is that good?

  Penny : Because last month I sent the electric company a Starbucks gift card, an apology note, and a few snapshots of me in a bra.

• Sheldon Cooper : Now, put on your hard had and safety vest.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, fun! I get to spend another night in front of our apartment dressed like one of The Village people.

  Sheldon Cooper : You make that joke every three months; I still don't get it.

• Sheldon Cooper : Are you saying that you want to invoke Clause 209?

  Leonard Hofstadter : I don't know what that is, but if it means I can go home and sleep, then yes.

  Sheldon Cooper : Think carefully here. Clause 209 suspends our friendship and strips down the Roommate Agreement to its bare essentials. Our responsibilities toward each other would only be rent, utilities, and a perfunctory chin jut of recognition as we pass in the hall. "S'up?"

  Leonard Hofstadter : Where do I sign?

  Sheldon Cooper : Right here.

  [turns his tablet around] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Use your finger.

  Leonard Hofstadter : There, done.

  Sheldon Cooper : All right, that's it. We are now no longer companions, boon or otherwise. We are now merely acquaintances. To amend the words of Toy Story: You have not got a friend in me!

• Leonard Hofstadter : Sheldon, Canada is not going to invade California

  Sheldon Cooper : Yeah really? You think those hippies in Washington and Oregon can stop them?

• Leonard Hofstadter : It's just a blackout. I'm sure the power'll be back on soon.

  Sheldon Cooper : And I'm sure some fool in the Donner party said the snow would stop any day now. I like to think they ate him first.

• [first lines] 

  [Sheldon sounds a virtual klaxon in Leonard's bedroom] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : Yahhh! What the hell!

  Sheldon Cooper : Emergency preparedness drill.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, no, come on!

  Sheldon Cooper : You know how it works. Once a quarter; keep our readiness up. Now, rise and shine sleepyhead, half the town is probably dead.

  Leonard Hofstadter : I have to get a lock for my door.

• Leonard Hofstadter : Sometimes crazy looks like sad so it'll suck you back in.

• [During a blackout Leonard and Penny start to make out. Sheldon walks in unannounced] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Excuse me, Leonard.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Since when DON'T you knock? It's like the only good thing about you!