The Coffee Table (2022) Poster

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8/10
A film I won't soon forget
jtindahouse2 October 2023
Short review: I've always loved the concept of one small decision changing everything in a massive way. We were actually warned by the director before watching this film not to watch it. I thought to myself, I've seen the worst of the worst, how bad could it be? This isn't a film like 'A Serbian Film' or 'Hostel' that sets out with no purpose other than to shock you as much as possible. But this film will drain you and have you thinking long after the credits roll.

There are a couple of moments of humour in the film, and they are genuinely funny moments, but because of the subject and tone of the film you feel like a monster if you laugh. I can't remember experiencing that before.

This is an emotionally draining film and not one that is designed for everyone to watch. However if you are game I think you will find it both rewarding and memorable. 8/10.
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8/10
unbreakable
ferguson-62 October 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Fantastic Fest 2023 Greetings again from the darkness. A smarmy furniture salesman goes overboard convincing Jesus that a particularly hideous coffee table "will change your life" and guarantees it will "bring you happiness. He also claims multiple times that the glass top is "unbreakable". Jesus and his wife, Maria, argue over the piece. She scoffs at him for believing the outlandish promises. What we soon learn is that Maria 'rules the roost' in this marriage and is accustomed to her word being the final word. She planned the wedding, named their newborn baby, selected the color and décor for the nursery, and has been decorating their new apartment with no input from hubby.

The purchase of the coffee table is merely Jesus standing up for himself and making a decision for their family. This couple argues over trivial matters, and they've yet to address the absurd accusations and demands being made by the 13-year-old neighbor girl who fantasizes about Jesus. Maria heads to the market to prepare for dinner with Jesus' brother and his barely legal girlfriend, leaving Jesus in charge of the baby.

By the film's end, one of the furniture salesman's promises has come true while the other two have proven absolutely not true. We watch in amazement as Jesus desperately tries to find a way out of the worst imaginable situation ... one made even worse by the extended discussions on the joys of parenting. The tension here is palpable and the subject matter is about as dark as any movie I've watched ... it's not for those who enjoy lighthearted flicks, but the film is about as well-made and well-acted as you'll ever find at an indie film festival. The awards ceremony rarely matters much to me at festivals, but I was disappointed this one didn't gain some recognition.
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8/10
Anxiety Inducing Nightmare
macabre_ish15 April 2024
This movie is deceptively intense, all the way through. A man who has a habit of leaving things unresolved, makes one terrible accident that changes the trajectory of his life and because he can't cope, he chooses to stay silent. And as expected his silence makes it worse and the reveal coupled with other unresolved issues culminate to destroy his entire family. I was stressed the entire movie and though it had moments that were very bloody, it's not graphic, it hints at the graphic moments rather than shows it. There's a small but great cast, only a few locations but mostly takes place in an apartment. This was much better than I expected. Well done.
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10/10
Absolutely disturbing
xavierpujades7 December 2023
What to say... This film, knowing it's completely independent, with low budget, made just with a good script and good performances, that's it. And what a film! Absolutely distressing movie, where the characters get you to feel the same unpleasant feelings they are feeling.

Tons of distresses, but even being the plot surreal, it could actually happen. That's the worst. Hints of black humor make the whole thing bit sweeter, or I should say, bittersweet at most.

Couldn't be more politically incorrect, and that is huge value nowadays. For this reason has been banned from the official circuits. One more reason to watch it and support it.
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7/10
youll need a ...
ops-5253510 May 2024
Warning: Spoilers
Strong stomach and nerves of steel to watch this spanish appraisal of the coffee table, a gadget well as important for the spaniards as the tea tray for the brits.

The keyword though is glass, a matter of substance that maybe so extremely strong , at the same time so brittle and may break with a stroke of a fingertouch if your born under a doomed star.

So if your going through a post-partum depression or do have an overly protectionistic personality, then you may wanna skip this niche product of spanish pseudo horror, its some of the most heartbreaking and deteriorating cinematic art ive seen lately. The small cast delivers so utterly spot-on, especially the facial mimics are fantastic, also the musical score composed, are some of the finest of spanish filmproductions.

A horrific story of seredipitusiousness from everyday life, that will turmoil the guts of even the squemiest of filmnerds, dont say i didnt warn you, a recommend from the grumpy old man.
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10/10
Disturbing is an understatement.
manuelasaez3 May 2024
A witchy, domineering wife and her husband go shopping for a coffee table and are about to enter a world of unimaginable horror....

I've seen some truly horrific films in my time, and truth be told, it's my favorite type of movie to watch. Some of them rely on excessive gore and violence, others on showing disturbing acts between people. None of them compare to how utterly devastating this movie ended up being. I have always been a fan of films where one small, seemingly insignificant decision alters the course of a person or families life, but this movie was so bleak and dark, I don't know if it will ever be topped.

Everything about the film was so well made, it's tough to pick the stand out. The acting was phenomenal, the cinematography was well done and even the special effects looked realistic and impressive. But it was the subject matter, the story itself, that I guess would take the prize for truly bringing the entire package together to a cohesive whole. The script was equal parts hilarious, shocking, depressing and tension filled, that it really created that rare movie that has no flaws worth mentioning. It's just a really well made film that ticks off so many boxes in what makes a great movie, that in the end, I'm happy for having seen it. Seeing this level of artistry always raised my spirits, regardless of how horrific the events that transpire end up being.

I can go on an continue to sing praises for this film, but I think I'll just end in saying that where many movies feature constant plot holes, disjointed storylines and poor pacing, this one does everything just right. It doesn't overstay its welcome, and the only reason you want it to end is so that the beating of your heart can finally subside. A truly magnificent film that deserves as many fans as it can get.
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8/10
Dark Subject Matter with Great Atmosphere and Stress
Reviews_of_the_Dead22 April 2024
This is a movie that I got the chance to see via screener thanks to Scott from Cinephobia Releasing. The title caught my attention. When I figured out that this was a horror film, I knew that I'd check it out. What I found interesting is that this got its official first screening at a film festival back in 2022. It got its wide release in 2024, so that gives me another to add to my list.

Synopsis: Jesús (David Pareja) and María (Estefanía de los Santos) are a couple going through a difficult time in their relationship. Nevertheless, they have just become parents. To shape their new life, they decide to buy a new coffee table. A decision that will change their existence.

We jump right into this with our couple from the synopsis at a store looking at a coffee table. I'll be honest, it is hideous. The salesperson is played by Eduardo Antuña. He is making the table sound better than it is. To give more information about it, it has two golden women, who are naked that are holding up the glass. This couple bickers in front of this salesperson. We learn that Jesús might not have been fully ready to have a child. María mostly decorated their house, with Jesús getting little details here and there. He was told that he could pick out any coffee table. Because she hates this one so much, he wants it even more. That is the one that is bought.

The movie then shifts to Jesús putting it together. It turns out that he's missing a screw. He called the store, saying that it wasn't in the box and that he needed it brought to him today. He cannot come back to get it. María decides to go to the grocery store since Jesús' brother and his girlfriend are coming over to meet the baby. The child is left in the care of Jesús.

This is when tragedy strikes and it rocks Jesús to his core. He can't even move. He doesn't know what to do. There is a couple of storylines that complicate things further. I've already brought up that Jesús' brother Carlos (Josep Maria Riera) along with his vegan girlfriend Cristina (Claudia Riera) are coming over. There is also Ruth (Gala Flores) who is 13 years old. Her mother tells María that she's been moody about a boyfriend. This turns out to be Jesús. This teen is convinced that she is in love with him and that he feels the same back. This day cannot get any worse and tragedy looms.

That is where I'll leave my recap and introduction to the story. Where I want to start is re-iterating that I came into this one blind. This movie was uncomfortable for me in the best way possible. It sets the stage about where this couple is currently. I've been here before with my wife. You just get in a rough spot and bicker constantly. Then this takes a nosedive into a dark event that rocked me to the core. I should say here, this affected me differently than most people, I'm sure. Please keep that in mind when going forward. I will also avoid spoilers.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, this becomes a character study of Jesús for the most part. He knows everything that has happened. I could feel the weight of the pressure mounting on him. Things aren't good with María. By having their son, he has lost himself. A newborn completely changes things and we see that it has strained their relationship. What is interesting is the first reveal of what Ruth thinks, Jesús is annoyed and doing what he can to make her stop. She is misreading things. This is just another added wrinkle that complicates Jesús' life as he tries to figure out what to do after the event.

I'm going to shift over to talk about Pareja's performance here. He was great. Despite the bickering with María, I get the sense that he has a good sense of humor. He delicately manages talking to Ruth, keeping his cool there. After the event though, the amount of stress he's doing to not only hide what happened but try to figure out a way to reveal it. I've held on secrets and it can feel like the weight of the world on you. How this is presented made me feel that. I'm not always the biggest fan of comedy in my horror. Since this goes into the realms of dark comedy, it is perfect to help alleviate tension. It was well done.

Since this mostly focuses on Jesús and doesn't have the deepest story, let's shift to this to the other cast members. They push things to where it ends up. De los Santos and Pareja feel like an old couple. That helped me connect since I've been in that spot of a relationship. It feels real. The Rieras help complicate things even more when they come over. They are fun while also making it more difficult for Jesús to think. Antuña, Flores, Dilla and the rest of the cast also add their own quirky characters to this as well.

All that is left then is filmmaking. I thought this helped to build that atmosphere. We get the idea that the place they're living isn't big. That becomes even smaller when Jesús becomes stressed. I wanted to credit the cinematography and the framing there. Then to go along with this, they do good things with the sound design. There is a baby monitor that relays different conversations from earlier. They are almost haunting Jesús. That was good. We also have limited effects. They were good though. The blood looks real, which I appreciated.

In conclusion, I know I'm going to higher than others on this. This movie has a simple story. It sets up the characters and then tragedy strikes. From there it becomes a character of Jesús as he tries to come up with a plan of what to do with different complications. Pareja carries the weight of this film on his shoulders. The rest of the cast help push things to where they end up. This was well made with the cinematography, framing, sound design and effects helping there. I don't think this will be for everyone. It just hit me perfectly.

My Rating: 8 out of 10.
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4/10
All the spoilers
BandSAboutMovies30 September 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Maria (Estefanía de los Santos) and Jesús (David Pareja) have just had a baby. He's tired of her being the only one to make decisions, so he buys a coffee table without asking her. It is the most horrible piece of furniture ever. He pays for it for the rest of the movie.

This is being sold as "an uncomfortable, politically incorrect film with extremely black humor and a brutal tragedy." That's truth in advertising.

Directed by Caye Casas, who wrote the script with Caye Casas, this isn't for everyone. But if you're ready, I'll give you a spoiler.

I mean, it's going to ruin this, because the surprise is what the movie is all about.

So...

The table is missing a screw and it's not stable. While Jesús is playing with his newborn son, he drops him onto the table and it slices the baby's head clean off. Now, he has to hide the corpse from his wife, his brother, his brother's wife and everyone else that comes to see the child, whose head is somewhere under one of the chairs.

If that's the kind of thing you find amusing, you're going to love this, one of the tensest times you'll spend watching a movie. Not for expectant fathers. Or mothers. Maybe not for anyone.
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8/10
Butter fingers.
BA_Harrison25 April 2024
Warning: Spoilers
When my son was still a baby, I slipped while carrying him down the stairs. When I came to a stop at the bottom of the stairs, dazed and confused, I had a moment of sheer panic, thinking I may have let go of my son while falling. We were lucky - my natural instinct had been to hold on tight. I had a few bruises but my son was safe. It could have been a whole lot worse...

Jesús (David Pareja) buys an ugly glass-topped coffee table, against the wishes of his wife Maria (Estefanía de los Santos), and it turns out to be the worst decision of his life. Looking after his newborn son while Maria is at the shops, he has an accident, the glass on the coffee table shattering and decapitating his baby. What follows is a most uncomfortable watch, as Jesús - in a state of shock - is unable to come to terms with what has happened, fear and guilt eating away at him until he can take no more.

There was absolutely no way this film was going to end happily, writer director Caye Casas deliberately putting his viewers through the emotional wringer to leave them drained and exhausted. It's a well acted and smartly directed movie with touches of dark humour which serve to make the film an even more uncomfortable experience.

Definitely not recommended to new parents, but if you're in the mood for something challenging and bleak, The Coffee Table should do the trick.

8/10

N. B. Despite how it looks, the coffee table salesman is not played by Ron Jeremy and Jesús's brother is not David Baddiel.
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