How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

46 Minutes (2012)

Alyson Hannigan: Lily Aldrin, Jasmine

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mickey Aldrin : This lamp absolutely can not be here.

  Marshall Eriksen : [Annoyed]  Why not?

  Mickey Aldrin : It blocks my view of the widow Rodriguez doing her Jane Fonda work-outs.

  Lily Aldrin : Isn't she a little old dad?

  Mickey Aldrin : You didn't see her when I was a kid. In my mind, she'll always be fifty-four.

• Barney Stinson : As new group leader, I say we do something we never would have done with Marshall and Lily here. Remember that amazing idea I had that one time?

  Barney Stinson : [Title says "Every night since 2005]  Let's go to a strip club.

  Lily Aldrin : Nope.

  Barney Stinson : [Back to present]  So, what do you guys say? Let's declare your Independence with a on-the-pen-dance.

  [Gets silence] 

  Barney Stinson : on-the-pen-dance.

  Robin Scherbatsky : Yeah, we got it.

• Marshall Eriksen : We've got no cell reception. I wanted to call Ted. This feels weird; the last time I lived this far from him was my semster abroad.

  Lily Aldrin : You never did a semester abroad?

  Marshall Eriksen : That's what I called it when we lived on opposite sides of the campus.

• Narrator : A while back we discovered the most amazing thing: Lily had a doppelganger who was a Russian stripper

  Barney Stinson : Look at her Ted: she's just like old less-good Lily, but instead of bossing us around, she shows us her boobs.

  [Moves a hand toward her] 

  Stripper Lily : [Slaps his hand]  No touching.

  Barney Stinson : Okay, a little bossing us around. I call her Better Lily!

• Ted Mosby : [Drunk]  Who needs Marshall and Lily. We have a new gang and we're all gonna hang out together forever.

  Stripper Lily : My shift is done. Good-bye.

  Barney Stinson : Wait, stop! Technically this song's not over, so we own you. Plus, we're best friends! Where to next?

  Arvydas : We go to underground poker game in mostly abandoned insane asylum.

  Barney Stinson : Yes! This is going to be AWESOME. And when it is I want you all to remember who lead you there: Barney Stinson; new gang leader.

  [Cut to sketchiest poker game ever] 

• Lily Aldrin : [Marshall is still wondering around in dark]  Marshall! I just remember I saw a box of matches in the drawer next to the trash can.

  Marshall Eriksen : Thanks baby

  [See Mickey dart around Marshall and take the matches] 

  Marshall Eriksen : Lily, I can't find them!

  Mickey Aldrin : [On the inter-com, lights match]  Looking for these?

  [laughs evilly] 

  Mickey Aldrin : Oh right, you can't see me. I'm burning the matches you so desperately need

  [laughs evilly until the match burns to his fingers] 

  Mickey Aldrin : Ah! Ooo. Ow!

• Stripper Lily : [Ted, Robin, Barney, and Kevin just escaped a poker game with some Russians]  We go to party at slaughterhouse. You come?

  Robin Scherbatsky : [thought]  Please God, no!

  Barney Stinson : [thought]  Don't let me be in charge of the gang anymore!

  Butterfly Knife : [thought]  I can't believe that Kevin doesn't remember me from our sessions three years ago.

  Kevin : [thought]  Is that the lunatic who stabbed all those prison guards?