- [to Sarah after decapitating Paul by kicking his head off]
- Stitches: Sorry about Paul, he had to head off!
- [last line before being killed]
- Stitches: Well fuck me sideways... I never thought I'd end up with egg on my face.
- The Motley: You're not our charge, but know this: a clown who doesn't finish his party act can never rest, and a joke is never funny the second time round.
- [beating a cat to death]
- Stitches: Let's see how many lives you've got left one... two... three... four... five... six... seven... eight... nine... DEAD.
- [On deciding who to kill first, Tom or Kate]
- Stitches: Now what's better the look on your face when I stab her? or the look on her face when I stab you?