- Nadeem Razmaadi: Does anyone have a lighter?
- Ray Stantz: I quit smoking in the '90s.
- Peter Venkman: [dryly] Proud of you then, proud of you now.
- Winston Zeddemore: The world, right now, is experiencing unusual paranormal activity. We are here to answer that call. Because we... ARE THE GHOSTBUSTERS!
- Dr. Hubert Wartzki: These are wax cylinders. 19th century audio recordings. Our collection is bonkers! Here. Mary Todd Lincoln, using the F word. Apparently she saw a moth.
- Trevor Spengler: Whoa! You guys here that? No echo, no anything. It's like a dead room in here.
- Lucky: So she could be as loud as she wanted.
- Nadeem Razmaadi: Please stop. Stop making sex. jokes about my recently deceased grandmother.
- Phoebe Spengler: What is the worst part of being a ghost?
- Melody: I'll be sixteen for the rest of eternity.
- Ray Stantz: A psychic jail as big as the American West.
- Gary Grooberson: Home on the strange.
- Ray Stantz: Where the spectres and entities play.
- Nadeem Razmaadi: [after being asked why his dead grandmother has a sex dungeon] I dunno. I found this place while I was looking for Pop Tarts.
- Lucky: Whoa! Nice sex dungeon. Okay, doddy.
- Nadeem Razmaadi: It's not a sex dungeon. Would a sex dungeon have these chains?
- Nadeem Razmaadi: Just a couple human beings having a conversation. One of them has a pasta pot strapped to his head.
- Gary Grooberson: If there's something strange in the neighborhood, who are they gonna call? If there's something weird and it don't look good, wh-wh-wh-who ya gonna call?
- Callie Spengler: Ghostbusters.
- Gary Grooberson: I'm sorry, what was that?
- Callie Spengler: Ghostbusters.
- Phoebe Spengler: I had a question I wanted to ask you. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a ghost?
- Ray Stantz: Every day of my life, dear.
- Phoebe Spengler: Really?
- Ray Stantz: Sure, I mean... how would I materialize? What's that feel like? Would it be some kind of a visual manifestation?