- Dr. Gregory House: The sound of a needy child is stirring your paternal juices.
- Dr. James Wilson: The sound of a needy child at 112 decibels has stirred my inner murderer. Don't mess with me.
- Dr. James Wilson: [to House] You're jealous of an eleven year old because you are an eleven year old.
- Dr. Robert Chase: Fighting's the best part of hockey. Without it, you've got the Ice Capades.
- Dr. Chris Taub: Fighting has nothing to do with hockey. It's like the cheerleaders at a basketball game.
- Dr. Robert Chase: Cheerleading's the best part of basketball. Without it, you've got... basketball.
- Dr. Gregory House: [Wilson has a headache] Neighbor's baby again?
- Dr. James Wilson: I could hear it through earplugs, two pillows and three sleeping pills.
- Dr. Robert Chase: [to Park about Popo] She seems awfully quiet.
- Dr. Chi Park: You haven't seen her drunk.
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Chase] Roomies with benefits keeping you up?
- Dr. Robert Chase: Cribbage. I played with Park's Popo.
- Dr. Gregory House: Is that two separate events?
- Dr. James Wilson: [to House] You think I'm going to quit on this? On an 11-year-old?
- Dr. Gregory House: The only relationship you haven't quit on has been with me.
- Dr. James Wilson: Hmm. A needy, truculent narcissist. I think it's been perfect training for parenthood.
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Wilson] Pass the bacon.
- Dr. James Wilson: I thought you liked prosciutto.
- Dr. Gregory House: Nobody likes prosciutto.
- Dr. Chi Park: I want to kill my mother. My Popo's on her own and my mother always needs me to take care of her.
- Dr. Robert Chase: Well, you could kill Popo instead.
- Dr. Chris Taub: [to Bobby] According to your psych eval, the only thing happier than you is Disneyland.
- Dr. Gregory House: You're going to need a whole new theory to keep Uncle Jesse and his Olsen twins on the bench.
- Dr. Chris Taub: I've known a lot of bullies: people who didn't like me because I'm short, people who didn't like me because I'm Jewish...
- Dr. Gregory House: Yeah, I get it. There's a long list of reasons not to like you.
- Dr. Chi Park: [to Taub] Chase let me move in with him to get away from my grandmother. Then, he practically let my grandmother move in with the both of us. He's being way more than nice.
- Dr. Chris Taub: Then which answer is it? Chase feels guilty for pushing you to move out?
- Dr. Chi Park: He didn't push me.
- Dr. Chris Taub: Guilt about skanks.
- Dr. Chi Park: He loves skanks.
- Dr. Chris Taub: It's not the other option.
- Dr. Chi Park: There are people that like me. People even want to sleep with me. Some of them are even good-looking.
- Dr. Chris Taub: That good-looking?
- Dr. Jessica Adams: Aside from the crying, he's actually recovering nicely.
- Dr. Chris Taub: Aside from the guy in the book depository, the Kennedys had a lovely trip to Dallas.