The Final Girls (2015)
Alexander Ludwig: Chris Briggs
Photos
Quotes
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Kurt : What are you, a fag?
Chris Briggs : My dads are gay, so shut the hell up.
Kurt : Yeah, right! Gay guys can't have kids! They're too busy going to discos and having sex with each other. It's actually a pretty cool lifestyle.
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Kurt : By the way, what's with you and Max? Are you guys having sex? Because if not, I wouldn't mind bench pressing her with my dumbbell.
Chris Briggs : Listen, brah, you're not bench pressing anyone with your dumbbell! If I so much as hear your dumbbell took a Pilates class...
Kurt : What?
Chris Briggs : I'm gonna cut it off.
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[the kids strap Tina into a lifejacket and tape oven mitts to her hands]
Tina : Why do I have to wear all this stuff again?
Chris Briggs : Because you're scripted to do a striptease at the slumber party, and when you take your top off, Billy comes running.
Tina : But why does he hate my boobs? Cuz they're not big?
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Vicki Summers : Tyson wanted to come here tonight and I was like, "Oh my God, no," but here we are. So, you win, Tyson!
Chris Briggs : So, you didn't see my post about it, or anything?
Vicki Summers : No, I don't go on your stupid Twitter. Which, by the way, has lost three more followers today.
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Chris Briggs : What are Bathematicians?
Duncan : Camp Bloodbath fans. It's kind of our awesome nickname.
Gertie Michaels : Did you know that a nickname immediately becomes uncool when you give it to yourself?
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Gertie Michaels : Max, do you want to jot any of this down or...
Chris Briggs : Oh, no, it's okay, Max. I've already got a copy. You can copy from me later or I can give it to you if you... If you want. I'm gonna stop talking.
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Chris Briggs : Okay. So, the myth of Persephone. Max, you want to take this one?
Max Cartwright : Sure. She's the daughter of Zeus and she eats pomegranate seeds and then Hades kidnaps her to the underworld.
Chris Briggs : Yeah. Okay, good. So, they go back to the underworld and Persephone is freaking out, and Hermes is like, It's okay, it's okay. Just keep looking forward, or we'll be stuck here forever.
