- Diana Jessup: This isn't some idiotic civil war in some country without oil. This is my favorite daughter! And she is a beautiful white American. So why the fudge isn't everyone fudging freaking the fudge out?
- Jack Donaghy: I want you to apologize to this woman, right now. I am a very powerful man. I can see to it that Transylvania never sees another episode of "Friends."
- Cjokula: No! Monica and Chandler just slept together in London. I'm, I'm sorry.
- Jack Donaghy: OK. Now admit the U.N. is useless!
- Cjokula: It is. Half the building is a laser tag arena.
- Diana Jessup: Admit it's annoying when Bono comes around!
- Cjokula: It's the worst. Every time he says he's not hungry when we collect money for pizza, and then he eats, like, three slices.
- Jack Donaghy: You disgust me. Come on, let's go. And, Cjokula, at Monica and Chandler's wedding, Rachel's the one who is pregnant!
- [Cjokula hisses]
- Diana Jessup: He said it'll be another hour. The assistant attaché has a few minutes around 14:30.
- Jack Donaghy: 14:30? You do know that this office is in America, right? Do you see a 14 on my watch?
- Receptionist: [strange accent] Yes, it's the date. Happy Valentine's Day.
- Jack Donaghy: That's cute. And what insolvent country do you come from?
- Receptionist: New Jersey. I'm just a weirdo.