Modern Family (TV Series)
Express Christmas (2011)
Julie Bowen: Claire Dunphy
Photos
Quotes
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Phil Dunphy : Okay, who's gonna get the tree?
Mitchell Pritchett : Oh! I will, I will. Because, you know, get the wrong kind, people get upset.
Claire Dunphy : You get upset.
Mitchell Pritchett : I'm people.
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Claire Dunphy : [Phil and Manny, who were supposed to get the turkey, enter] Oh, thank God. Here comes Phil and the Butterball.
Manny Delgado : I have a name!
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Cameron Tucker : [Bringing Lily outside] Look who's wearing her itsy-bitsy bikini!
Phil Dunphy : He can comment beause he's gay.
Claire Dunphy : He was talking about Lily.
Phil Dunphy : So was... I.
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Phil Dunphy : I am sorry, but there is no turkey.
Claire Dunphy : There's no turkey? What's the plan, Phil?
Phil Dunphy : Cornish game hens. If you get real close, they look like turkeys, and everyone gets their own.
Jay Pritchett : [Whispers] Sounds like fun.
Claire Dunphy : Not fun. Not fun. I asked you to pick up a cooked turkey.
Phil Dunphy : The store was out of turkeys. It was an hour to Express Christmas. Please, just make it work, okay? Please.
Claire Dunphy : They're not even defrosted.
Phil Dunphy : Fine, Claire. You want 'em defrosted?
[Takes out stun gun and tases the hens on every other word]
Phil Dunphy : MERRY FREAKING CHRISTMAS!
Claire Dunphy : Phil!
[Everyone gasps]
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett : ...is that my stun gun?
Phil Dunphy : Yep, and it works great!