South Park (TV Series)

1% (2011)

Trey Parker: Eric Cartman, Stan Marsh

Photos 

Quotes 

• Fitness speaker : I'm sad to announce South Park Elementary scored the lowest in the entire country. On the whole you students actually scored fine, but the President's fitness test is actually scored on a school-wide average. And one fourth grader in this school scored so low, with a terrifying body fat score, high blood preasure, and cholesterol levels of a 70 year-old man, that it actually brought your entire school's average down to the lowest in the entire country.

  Eric Cartman : Ahhh!

  [stretches while bored from hearing the speech] 

  Fitness speaker : However, the Presidential Fitness Program never wants to single out one child, 'cause then that child might feel bad. And so as far as we're all concerned, you are all a bunch of fat fucking pigs!

• Butters : And so then Skeletor told Terminator he wanted a divorce, and apparently it's all going to be finilized soon!

  Stan : Dude, Butters, how many times do we have to go over this? That's not Skeletor, that's a woman named Maria Shriver.

  Butters : But then why does his face look like that?

• Eric Cartman : Look you guys, a Jew on a rope. You know what they call a Jew on a rope?

• Eric Cartman : It's okay Eric, it's over now.

• Eric Cartman : Don't you get it, Mom? People voted for Obama, so now that everything sucks, they have to blame me.