- Ziva David: If Tony was flirting, he would be complimenting her blouse, not her work ethic.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: See? Ziva knows.
- Ziva David: What we just witnessed here was a pathetic attempt to cultivate new sources of *office* gossip.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: That is completely unfair!
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: [Entering] Life isn't fair, DiNozzo. That's why we're here.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Let me get this straight. Abby is your source? What's the big secret? You've been my source on plenty of stuff.
- Abby Sciuto: Um, well, not for gossip. Sorry, Tony. I mean, I can't tell you some things because you *totally* blab. Kind of like some other people that I suddenly find myself disappointed in.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: How could I have fallen so far off the trust ladder?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: [Entering] Not a ladder, DiNozzo. More like a stepstool.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Ducky has been... pretty chipper lately. Old Penelope must be quite a hellcat.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Hey! Leave my grandmother out of this. She and Ducky went on one date. That was it.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Wait. Back up the truck. Who are these sources? Mine haven't said anything.
- Ziva David: Perhaps you do not have sources.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Or your sources are lousy.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Exsqueeze me, guys. Very special agent here. I got solid gold sources coming out the yang.
- Ziva David: I do not know what or where your yang is, but perhaps your sources do not trust you with internal gossip.
- Abby Sciuto: [after Ducky catches Abby and Palmer gossiping about him] So you're not mad?
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Mad? Quite. Angry? No what say we all stick to business from now on?
- Abby Sciuto: That euphoria would cause an accelerated heart rate and increased body temperature. Resulting in severe dehydration. Which naturall would lead to an extreme... unquenchable...
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Thirst.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Sadism masquerading as kindness.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: The killer didn't pump Simms full of water. He fed it to him.
- Lana: [about some pills] Those aren't mine.
- Ziva David: Well, they came from your pocket.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Let me guess. That's not our apron?
- Dr. Donald Mallard: You know, Jethro, psychotic behavior is so bizzare. Yet, I just can't understand how I missed it. I'll never trust my judgement again.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Won't have to, Duck. I'll trust it for you.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: The Mallard opus may be lengthy, but I firmly believe that the best chapters are yet to be written.
- Mary Courtney: I do like the sound of that.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Something tells me we may be looking at victim number one.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: I hate to say serial killer.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Well, you said it.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: I'm thinking it.