Louie (TV Series)

Come On, God (2011)

Liz Holtan: Ellen

Quotes 

• Ellen : You don't have to live this way. There is a life of joy and passion waiting for you. If you just stop hurting yourself.

  Louie : How can you tell people not to masturbate? I mean, nobody can not do it. Since there's been people, all of them, every single person ever, has masturbated. Napoleon masturbated. Gandhi, Joan Jett, uh, Shakespeare...

  Greg Gutfeld : Shakespeare, definitely.

• Louie : You know what really pisses me off about people like you? You think you can tell other people, like you got the keys to how to be happy. Y'know, you don't know me, 'kay? And you don't know God. God probably hates people like you, that try to tell other people what to do.

  Ellen : Wow. Masturbating's really important to you.

  Louie : Yeah, it is! It keeps me sane! I'm a good citizen, I'm a good father, I recycle, and I masturbate.