Red Dwarf (TV Series)

Lemons (2012)

Indira Joshi: Erin

Quotes 

• Erin : I lived in the land of Albion for ten full cycles of the moon. But I fled, after my family were dragged screaming from their home, to a mighty Wicca tower, where they were sacrificed to the three gods - Toutatis, Esus and Taranis. First they were garroted to death, then they were burned to death, then they were drowned to death! Three deaths to appease three gods. And then the druids drank their blood and ate their meat, and said the harvest would be bountiful!

  Lister : Right, have you got any lemons?

• Erin : God is a jealous god. You do that and he won't just get you, you know. According to the second commandment he'll wipe out all your descendants.

  Jesus : Isn't that breaking the 6th commandment - thou shalt not kill?

  Erin : It's not killing, it's genocide. I think that's okay.

• Jesus : If you see my uncle, tell him that I will be in the tavern, drinking wine in great plenty until my legs do the dance of a newly born camel. And then, my mind will turn to dark vile thoughts and I'll start COVETING MY NEIGHBOUR'S OXEN!

  Erin : That's breaking the 10th commandment, that is!