- Various Characters: It's like the last week, man. We going out to dinner, right? She's like, "Where do you wanna go?"
- Various Characters: Uh-oh.
- Various Characters: I'm like, "All right. Outback Steakhouse." She's like, "Nah."
- Various Characters: Mm-hmm.
- Various Characters: I'm like, "Straight up, Chili's." She's like, "Ehh."
- Various Characters: No. No.
- Various Characters: Darrell, I named seven more restaurants.
- Various Characters: No, Craig, no!
- Various Characters: I finally said, "Taylor's", the place I know she wants to go in the first place.
- Various Characters: Right! Right. Right?
- Various Characters: She look at me, she said, "If that's where you wanna go."
- Various Characters: No, she didn't, Craig!
- Various Characters: If that's where I wanna go? Darrell, I looked my woman in the eye sockets. I told her straight out, I just said it, man. I said it! I said, I said, I said...
- [looks around to make sure it's clear]
- Various Characters: I said, "Bi..."
- [they get interrupted by their wives]
- Various Characters: [in a spaceship] So then she's like, "I didn't know we'd be doing so much walking."
- Various Characters: Nuh-uh!
- Various Characters: I'm like, "I didn't tell you to wear those shoes." She said, "Don't raise your voice at me."
- Various Characters: What?
- Various Characters: Da-rrell. I looked this woman dead in the windows of her soul. I said...
- [looks around to make sure it's clear]
- Various Characters: I said...
- [goes outside into space]
- Various Characters: I said, "*Bitch!*"
- Various Characters: Dude, I am sorry we're late, man.
- Various Characters: Man, it happens, man.
- Various Characters: And she talk about how we're supposed to be in the car at 6:45, I'm like, "All right."
- Various Characters: Uh-Oh.
- Various Characters: Tell me my dumb ass ain't sitting in the car, waiting until 7:15.
- Various Characters: Nuh-uh.
- Various Characters: Okay, when I track down my wife 25 minutes later, she's stepping out the damn shower talking about, "Can I help you?"
- Various Characters: See, that's crazy right there.
- Various Characters: Craig, I looked this woman in the eye, I said...
- [looks around to make sure it's clear]
- Various Characters: "*Bitch,* you told me 6:45."
- Various Characters: You said that?
- Various Characters: Psh, yeah I said...
- [looks around to make sure it's clear]
- Various Characters: "*Bitch.*" Then I laid it out.
- Various Characters: But you said, "bitch," though?
- Various Characters: Hmm?
- Various Characters: You said, "bitch?"
- Various Characters: [unconvincingly] Yeah...
- Various Characters: I said, "*Bitch,* if you wanted to go to Taylor's, just tell a brother you want to go to Taylor's!" Okay?
- Various Characters: You said that?
- Various Characters: Oh, Hell yeah, man. I laid it out, right? I says, I says, I says...
- [looks around to make sure it's clear]
- Various Characters: I said, "*Bitch,* I'm the man of the house."
- Various Characters: You said, "bitch," though?
- Various Characters: Hmm?
- Various Characters: You called your wife a bitch?
- Various Characters: [unconvincingly] Uh-huh, yeah...
- Various Characters: So she's like, "Why don't you rent a movie we both like?"
- Various Characters: No, she didn't.
- Various Characters: After I spent 25 minutes in the Goddamn Blockbuster. Craig, I looked this woman in her optic stems and I says... I said...
- [looks around to make sure it's clear]
- Various Characters: I says, "*Bitch!*"
- Various Characters: You said that?
- Various Characters: Ain't nothing, but a thing!
- Various Characters: But you said, "bitch," though?
- Various Characters: [unconvincingly] Yep...