- Louie Provenza: [whispering] How'd you like to make a quick two-thousand bucks, cash?
- Andy Flynn: No, thanks. Anything that begins with you whispering always ends with other people shouting.
- [repeated line about Commander Taylor making a public fool of himself]
- Fritz Howard, Will Pope: I can live with that.
- Buzz Watson: Is what we're doing even legal?
- Andy Flynn: Look, we're law enforcement and we're doing it, so that makes it legal, heh-heh-heh.
- David Gabriel: He fell from up there down to here?
- Andy Flynn: Yeah. Back dive and a half-twist. And, would you believe, the Russian judge only gave him an 8.5?
- Brenda Leigh Johnson: With Capt. Raydor conducting a transparency audit on this entire division, you thought it was a brilliant idea to use one of our civilian techs to track a private citizen without a warrant?
- Louie Provenza: Well, I wouldn't say "brilliant."
- Andy Flynn: [entering a seedy motel room] Oh, look. You can still see the chalk outline from the last person who stayed here.
- Louie Provenza: Yeah, yeah, I'm off duty and I flashed my badge. I flashed it. Sue me.
- Buzz Watson: I would, but I don't want another body landing on my car.
- Scott Esposito: [looking at the motel menu] Is anybody besides me getting hungry?
- Louie Provenza: No. Sit down and shut up.
- Scott Esposito: Oh, it's an uncatered kidnapping.
- Will Pope: Commander, if you can't put a positive spin on our arresting a murderer, I gotta wonder if it might be time for you to move on.
- Louie Provenza: It's Provenza. We have Hirschbaum. We're five minutes from killing him and then ourselves.
- Brenda Leigh Johnson: And how did you find him with only his cellphone number?
- Louie Provenza: Uh, we... Triangulated his location.
- [Clears throat]
- Louie Provenza: By using, uh, the Catfish.
- Brenda Leigh Johnson: You don't know how to use that.
- Andy Flynn: Buzz does.
- Andy Flynn: All right. Look, Buzz. Have we made mistakes in the past 24 hours? Yes. Did we underestimate the potential for fallout? Absolutely. Did we take advantage of your kind nature? Probably. Would you be wiser not to trust us?
- Louie Provenza: Flynn!
- Andy Flynn: How does a job that's supposed to net us four grand, wind up costing us four grand? What do you call that - Provenza-nomics?
- Russell Taylor: Consider the damage to my reputation!
- Will Pope: You took one for the team, okay?
- Russell Taylor: How does this make me look?
- Will Pope: Commander, if you can't put a positive spin on our arresting a murderer, I gotta wonder if it might be time for you to move on.
- Russell Taylor: No, no, no ... I can live with this.
- Steven Hirschbaum: This is totally illegal! I bribed officers Flynn and Provenza, and when that comes out in court, you are going to look ridiculous!
- Andy Flynn: Not as ridiculous as you're going to look, having punched your offshore account numbers into this disposable cell phone.
- Brenda Leigh Johnson: Yes, that doesn't make you look too good.
- Steven Hirschbaum: I ... really can't argue with that.