- Jake Harper: I bet you shower every day.
- Megan: Jake, we're supposed to be studying for the chemistry midterm.
- Jake Harper: I'd rather study our chemistry.
- Megan: Lame.
- Jake Harper: Really? I thought it was a double entendre.
- Walden Schmidt: [coming in] Hey, guys! What are you studying?
- Jake Harper: Chemistry.
- Walden Schmidt: Cool. Looks like you two have a little... chemistry.
- Megan: [giggles] That's so clever!
- Walden Schmidt: [noticing Alan has parked his car in the garage, but the car still makes sounds] Could you turn off the car?
- Alan Harper: I just did.
- Walden Schmidt: It might need service.
- Alan Harper: Sadly, that's where I just came from.
- Walden Schmidt: Do you know what's great about my electric car?
- Alan Harper: No.
- Walden Schmidt: [turns it on. It still doesn't make a sound] I just turned it on.
- Evelyn Harper: [about Walden] Relax, Alan, the only thing I wanna pull out of that boy's pants is his wallet.
- Evelyn Harper: I must tell you, Walden, it's so nice to finally see someone in this house who serves for something other than porn.